Divorce can be heartbreaking enough for the adults who are involved but children often have to endure many different feelings and emotions as well. While most adults understand that their children are experiencing this - most feel as if they will adjust quickly because children are resilient. While they are very resilient, the truth is that they can often experience feelings they have no understanding of how to deal with. Often, because of this a chain of events is set off and the child tries to cope with those feelings using methods and means which are not healthy or which may make the situation worse.

You should expect your child to feel a number of emotions if you and their other parent are getting a divorce. From anger and depression to self-blame, sadness, loss of well-being and security and much more - your child will go through a host of emotions the same way you will. Often a child will act out in an attempt to deal with the emotions he or she is feeling. This is why children often develop behavior problems after their parents have divorced. They also sometimes have a drop in grades, a change in social behavior and more.

If you know that your children are upset and in pain - what can you do? Unfortunately, the first reaction from parents is often to punish their children for the acting out and they don't address the core issues. While children do need to be responsible for their own behavior, the main problems need to be addressed or the children will continue to try and deal with their emotions in any way they know how.

One of the things you can do as a parent is pay special attention to your child during and after a divorce. Talk with them often and while you don't want to discuss the adult aspect of the divorce with your child, they need to understand what is happening. Assure them over and over that they are loved and that the divorce was in no way their fault. Spend extra time with them doing fun things that you enjoy and encourage your ex to spend quality time with them as well. This is a great step in helping your child build back their feeling of security and sense of well being.

By giving your child more time, reassurances, conversation and a shoulder to lean on, you will be helping them deal with the feelings and emotions they are left with because of the divorce. This will also help you and your child regain a sense of normality and happiness.

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