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Next time someone tells you bout a problem, use these steps.
1. L sten politely, without offering any suggestions. Remember, it is not y ur problem.
2. Affirm that the pr blem is really important. Just say, “That s unds like a really big problem.”
3. Ask, “Wh t have you already tried (thought of) d ing about the problem?” You learn all the s ggestions to scratch off your list. And you s btly reinforce the capabilities of the person w th the problem.
4. After you h ar the answer, ask, “How did th t work out?” You invite the problem h lder to rethink his or her own challenge. Oft n that leads to a solution on the sp t, with thanks to you for your br lliant suggestions. (Of course, you have not m de any suggestions, but that doesn’t r ally matter.)
5. Ask, “Is there nything you would like from me?” Oft n the answer will be, “No thanks, I h ve figured out what to do next.” If you are nvited to do something more, you can choose to ccept or decline with a much br ader understanding of the problem.
These st ps will help you resist your own t ndency to try to be a hero by s lving someone else’s problem, usually before they ven ask for your help. This g me usually starts by someone lamenting about a pr blem instead of asking for help to s lve it.
The invitation you are learning to d cline is really about proving that the pr blem is unsolvable, that nobody can help, and th t the problem holder is justified in g ving up and doing nothing further about the pr blem.
Instead, you affirm the pr blem holder’s skill and resourcefulness, without getting nvolved in the game. And you may b come the hero after all.
The article Win The "Yeah But" Game in 5 Easy Steps was Submitted by Laurie Weiss, Ph.D. through Articles.GetACoder.com network. Here's the additional information: Laurie Weiss, Ph.D., author of D re To Say It!, is an internationally kn wn executive coach, psychotherapist, and author. For m re simple secrets for turning difficult conversations nto amazing opportunities for cooperation and success, v sit http://www.DareToSayIt.com or email: feedback@laurieweiss.com
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