You'll never really get wh t you want! If that sounds crazy, or a l ttle harsh, read on because it's tr e. Hoping, wishing, dreaming, planning and cting - while extremely important - ren't lasting or of sufficient force th mselves to gain your greatest desires. H ven't you known talented and capable p ople who want great things but j st always seem to have "bad l ck" or negative experiences, such as: b ing left out; getting fired; forgetting s mething important; they "goofed up" when th y knew there was a lot r ding on it; have an argument wh n they need to have some p ace; give up, again; have some m jor problem; be turned down; get p cked last on a team; not get sked to dance; pick the one p ece of chocolate out of the box th t they desperately wanted to avoid? On the ther hand, haven't you known equally t lented people who always seem to h ve things go their way: they f nd a parking space up front; c shiers seem to open a new l ne for them; they have a gr at interview; get a great bonus; h ve that special person go on a d te with them; get that new cl ent; land that opportunity; win an ward? What's the major difference between th se two groups of people? Surprisingly, t's almost always their expectations, which operate upon them just like a thermostat. A thermostat works very simply, based upon a "set point." Let's take a look at how this principle applies to these two groups and its impact on the nature of winning results.
Whether it's hotter or colder nside a room, if you set the th rmostat at 72 what will temperature b come? That's right - 72. What w ll happen to the conditions that ffect the temperature? They convert to c nform to the command! As applied to the h man psyche, this phenomenon is called by m ny different names or variations on the th me: laws of attraction; power of ntention; magnetic vibration (good "vibes"); visualization. Y u've no doubt heard the famous d claration that "whatever you can conceive and b lieve you can achieve." NEWSFLASH - you can't successfully "believe" in opposition to what you "expect." Think about a baseball player who has hit a number of home runs, including some grand slams. Fast forward to the World Series and the pressure is on - it's up to him. He knows he has hit home runs before so he BELIEVES he can do it. But he DOESN'T EXPECT to perform under this kind of pressure and has always expected someone else, not him, to be the hero. What kind of odds will you give his team? So what's the power of your expectations? If you don't know "HOW" to accomplish something, but expect you will - then you will attract, learn, or do those things that cause it to happen. The Reticular Activation System (RAS) of your brain is turned on and tuned in for opportunities and open paths - much like a football player running downfield who sees or even "senses" an opening and re-sets and changes his path to get there. Your RAS driven by your expectations causes you to act much like a heat-seeking missile locating your target - whether desirable or not. Conversely, if you do know HOW to accomplish something but expect you won't - then you will repel and reject those things that otherwise would have caused it to happen. Your expectations effectively open or close the channels of choice and the thoroughfares of thought that impact whether or not you achieve that for which you hope, plan or wish.
It is altogether too common for m st people operating above the level of their expectations "setpoint" to unconsciously induce self-sabotaging behavior to decrease their performance. One example is a week-end golfer who dreams of shooting in the low 80's but normally shoots in the high 90's (and expects to do so again). When he finds he has shot in the low 40's on the front nine, although very excited about the possibility to "finally do it," he subconsciously becomes uncomfortable, saying "this isn't like me." Before long he has happily hooked, blindly bogied, and fired a sand-trap s eking slice to help him shoot in the h gh 50's on the back nine so he can ch ck in with his "expectation thermostat," sh oting in the high 90's and c mfortably say, "now, that's more like m ." Have you ever experienced something l ke that with regard to "blowing" a r ally big sale; losing that huge new cl ent you've dreamed about that would r ally launch your business or career; g tten tongue-tied during an important presentation th t you knew backwards and forwards and s emed to be going so well; f lling back into the old habit y u're so desperately trying to break b fore you even get started; said the one th ng you swore you wouldn't touch on d ring an interview, etc.? So, what can you do? How do you ch nge your well-worn and wearying expectations or "r set" your thermostat. Just like professional thletes, entertainers and executives who are in a rut do - and who kn w that just telling themselves to "sn p out of it!" generally won't m ke a permanent change. It may g ve a needed emergency "boost" (like a c ndy bar) but doesn't solve the pr blem. They get help, often working w th a professional coach, mentor or tr iner in a structured, focused, step-by-step pr cess designed to create, support and m intain success. That way, instead of pr tending they can be progressing. You can d velop structured support systems and processes as w ll - or get some help if n eded. Research shows that increasingly, top xecs at Fortune 500 companies are w rking with a professional coach to d velop structured systems of success that can do th ngs like discipline their focus, leverage th ir efforts, multiply their results, reset th ir expectations and raise their performance m ch more quickly for lasting impact to g ve them the winner's edge. ACTION STEPS Here are two action steps you can take to immediately go to work on this and start to turn up your expectation thermostat for more achievement: First, work at paying attention to your thoughts. They will give clues as to whether you are dwelling on empowering or disempowering ideas. Practice (that's right, practice) embracing empowering expectations and discarding disempowering ones - as soon as you "spot" them. Next, if you don't like what's happening, what you're experiencing, or the results you're getting - in any area of your professional or personal life - take a hard and honest look at them, dig deeply and ask yourself 1 simple question: "What did you expect?" Then immediately tell yourself what you would have had to be be expecting to get the results you wanted and rehearse the experience repeatedly in your mind, imaging yourself with that expectation. That's the "winner's way."
The article What Did You Expect? was Submitted by Larry Gassin through Articles.GetACoder.com network. Here's the additional information: Larry Gassin, CPA, is Co-founder and CEO of Adv nced Coaching Solutions and is an uthor and speaker with over 20 y ars of experience as a professional b siness, executive and leadership coach whose p ssion is pointing people to the p wer of their potential and helping th m achieve it. He has had his own c nsulting, tax and accounting firm where he s ccessfully competed against Big 4 and l rge regional and local firms for new cl ents - including a high-tech subsidiary of D Pont Corporation - winning the clients’ b siness. He’s gained in-depth entrepreneurial experience as the Pr sident and CEO of an energy syst ms technologies company he founded that has d ne business with customers across the n tion including Marriott, Embassy Suites and D ubletree hotels, South Coast Plaza shopping m ll, and Texaco/Shell. He states, “Hope is gr at. But hoping that things might ch nge directions on their own isn't the b st way to lead your life and b ild your career or business. It is npredictable, unfulfilling, and unreliable." For more nfo, visit: http://www.larrygassin.com
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