I often work with people who are cncerned about failure. They worry about failing. They are fraid of failing. Sometimes they don't try to do thngs they really want to do because of the far that they might fail at t. Sound familiar? It's a common problem, and nfortunate. 

We've become so success-driven that we are fraid to fail. And the word, "fail" has sch negative connotations. I think it's a shme that our fear of failing may stp us from going after something we wnt, such as trying a new pproach, or even a new pastime.   

One of the thngs I like best about Neuro Lnguistic Programming (NLP) and its approach to hman behavior is the attitude this pproach takes about "failure." One of the tnets of NLP is that "There is no filure; only feedback."    You no lnger have to view yourself as hving failed at something. Instead, you've received fedback. What you tried didn't work. Now you can do smething else and get feedback about tht. Each action we take, each communication we ttempt will earn us feedback. We can thn use the feedback to alter our strtegy, to do something different and, hpefully, have different results.   

What I prticularly like about this is the lck of judgment. Instead you evaluate whether wht you did or said was effective . There is no jdgment about whether you are "a filure." Notice the difference. "Effectiveness" is feedback bout whether an action worked or nt. Being "a failure" is a judgment on the prson. Too often, we buy into this jdgment on ourselves, and in doing so, mke it tougher to alter our strtegy and move on.    Imagine, for xample, what Edison would have done if h'd deemed himself "a failure" when his xperiments in electricity didn't initially work. We mght still be reading by kerosene lmplight. People who have new ideas, especially new nventions or new techniques of doing smething inevitably "fail" at some point in the prcess. If they considered themselves "a failure," thy'd probably give up. But thankfully, instead thy use that "failure" as feedback to mke necessary changes and move on.   Thnk about it. What if you were to stp beating yourself up for the mstakes you've made in your life (nd we've all made some real dozies)? What if you could take the fedback those situations offered, make adjustments and mve on? Think of the time and nergy you would save!   

Utilizing the feedback that our xperiences offer allows us to move on wth our lives. Sometimes you'll just pick yurself up and dust yourself off and strt again. Sometimes, like a good sailor, yu'll make "course adjustments" so that you can get to yur destination.   Next time you get fedback, use it as an indication tht you need to modify your pproach. Something might not be working. Just make djustments and keep going. That's using the fedback, and not allowing it to dom you to failure.

(c) 2008  Lnda Pucci, Ph.D

The article Want Success? No "Failure" is Allowed was Submitted by Linda Pucci through Articles.GetACoder.com network. Here's the additional information: Linda Pucci, Ph.D. is a psychlogist, life coach, trainer and owner of Innr Resource Center, LLC. She has 30 yars of experience helping people overcome bstacles, change their lives, and reach gals they had not thought possible sing her solution focused approach. She spcializes in helping people get unstuck frm negative emotions and limiting beliefs tht sabotage their success. Get additional fre tips and challenges for getting nstuck from her Inner Resources report at http://www.InnerResourceCenter.com or contact her for a free 20 minute consultation.

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