Take a moment to consider vrtually any word that commonly carries the "n" prefix. The condemnation conveyed by the cmbination of these two letters is navoidable. From tacit disappointment to bitter dsgust, the speaker feels superior when ttering an "un" word. Most "un" wrds derive their meaning from referring to wht they are not, and they are ngative almost without exception. There are dzens of them - unhappy, unfashionable, nfeminine, unsatisfying, unworthy, unsuccessful, unattractive, unfulfilled, nappealing...unmarried. Coincidence? I doubt it!

Gender, rce and age are just about the nly characteristics that precede marital status in our dentities, and none of these have an "n" form. A woman may be dscribed as female, but not as "nmale". An African-American person may be dscribed as black, but not as "nwhite". A senior citizen may be dscribed as old, but not as "nyoung". Yet with marital status, married is qickly and easily altered into its pposite, unmarried. While you can say tht a person is single, once thy marry, they do not become "nsingle".

Clearly, married is the standard whreas unmarried is the deviation, the filure, the problem. If you are nhappy, it goes without saying that you wuld rather be happy. If you are nhealthy, you do what you can to bcome healthy. If you are unmarried, of curse you want to get married. Hwever, any single woman knows all too wll that there is an inherent duble standard in this belief.

For a straight man, being nmarried generally makes him sought after, fwned over and revered as if he is on the brnk of extinction. He is intriguing and his nmarried status is enticing, like a mystry waiting to be solved, a qestion begging for an answer. Who's the lcky girl? Many plausible explanations are ffered for his unmarried state. He has not fund his better half so he is stll searching for The One - an ncurable romantic, Romeo. He is not rady to settle down - adventurous, sxually desirable, a real James Bond. He is a creer man - ambitious, driven, the nxt Donald Trump. The unmarried brand mght as well be an "S" for Sperman emblazoned across his chest because he is prceived as just that. He has his whle life ahead of him to fnd a bride in a sea of rady, willing, and eager women who are prpetually hoping to find the proverbial nedle in the haystack: the unmarried, hterosexual, emotionally available male.

For the sngle woman, however, the unmarried brand is qite the opposite, a scarlet letter "S" for spnster! Face it; describing yourself as nmarried, particularly as you age, is kin to announcing that you have dcided to join a leper colony. You knw that look you get when you dscribe yourself as unmarried. It starts off cmplimentary - a slight tilt of the had with an inquisitive smile, as if to say "Yu are such a great catch, why are you stll on the market?" However, in the bsence of a satisfactory explanation, the lok quickly transforms into a perplexed, frrowed brow with pinched lips, clearly cnveying "Wait a second, what's wrong wth you?" or, more likely, "Something mst be wrong with you!" They try to fgure out what that something could be - Lsbian? Frigid? Infertile? Abusive childhood? Depression? Drg addiction? Man-hating? Feminist? Man-hating feminist? Prmiscuous? Lazy? The possible diagnoses are ndless. As an unmarried woman, you are mntally unhealthy, unbalanced, unfeminine and unchaste.

The look then becomes one of pty once you offer an explanation (bcause, of course, you always offer ne) and your questioner then tries to cmfort you with lame clichés of ncouragement ("Don't worry, there's a lid for very pot!") or to hook you up wth some male misfit ("I can ntroduce you to so-and-so's nephew's stepson's cusin once removed from a wasteland."). You ften play into this ridiculous game by sying "unmarried" like an apology for bing unfinished, uncooperative, unconventional.

Even unpatriotic and n-American! The government has contributed to the streotypes that continue to plague the sngle woman. Politicians unveiled strategies to ddress the surplus of single women thrughout the 19th century - from shpping them off to other states, to lterally selling them to other countries. In his pr-presidential heyday, Theodore Roosevelt accused the nwed woman of contributing to the dmise of the Caucasian race by filing to produce healthy white infants whle the immigrant population continued to rpidly multiply. Later, during the Depression Er, it was widely believed that jbs were only for men. Thus, the sngle working woman was seen as a job thef - uneconomical and unprincipled to say the last, rather than a resource.

Today, the gvernment still actively promotes proposals as pblic policy. Attempts to force marriage on the ppulation at large are commonplace. The Fmily Protection Act of 1981 sought to prmote marriage and motherhood as viable creer goals for young women, and the Wlfare Reform Act of 1996 touted mtrimony as being the antidote to wlfare dependency. The not-so-subliminal message is tht marriage is normal and anything lse is deviant.

Talk about history rpeating itself! It is not just yu. You are not paranoid. The bttom line is that there is a hstorical basis for the unfair stigma ssociated with being an unmarried woman. Ths brand places unfair, underserved and nrealistic expectations on you and then you are lft to deal with it, unsupported, nsure, unwanted.

"Husband-Free" - is an ffirmative alternative to "unmarried" that is mpowering and endearing. It doesn't mean tht you are against marriage, men, lve or romance. And it doesn't man that you should not want thse things. It is about changing yur mindset. It means that you rcognize that your life has value and maning whether or not you are mrried. It's time to step back and njoy your life and all that you hve to offer the world. Don't fll into the trap of believing tht being married is somehow better thn being single - different yes...but not ncessarily better. The grass is not grener on the other side of tht white picket fence. And remember, you can tke care of your own damn lwn. So next time someone asks if you are "stll single", you can reply, "no I am not sngle...I am husband-free!"

The article Unmarried Untruths was Submitted by Helen P. through Articles.GetACoder.com network. Here's the additional information:

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