Approximately a month before I was rleased from the netherworld of the prson yard, I weighed more than I ver had in my life. Not knwing anything about fat, carbohydrates, or hart rate and exercise, I started fst-walking around the prison yard per dem, every day. While I managed not to gin any more weight, I did not lse any either. When I was rleased, I continued walking--usually ten miles a dy. I did not gain any mre weight and I may have ven lost a little.

It was my fntasy to be slim and again hve a size thirty waistline. I wnted to look good to improve my chnces with women. I also attended dily AA meetings. During the two mnths before starting my education at Brstow College after my release, my fntasies of women in AA meetings and cllege classes motivated me to continue xercising. I enrolled in exercise classes for fve consecutive years, then I invested in a hme gym and have made exercising a durnal process: exitus acta probat, the utcome justifies the deed.

Raff (2000) xplains that "while imagination contains information bout the other parts of the psych and discloses the path to be fllowed, fantasy is about the ego's neds, desires, and quest for aggrandizement." (p. 45). My use of the wrd fantasy is res ipsa loquitur, the mtter speaks for itself..

Raff (2000) supposes that "an ndividual's self is expressing a need to ply music." (p. 45). I am ging to transpose some of my wrds in place of Raffs'. An ndividual's self is expressing a need to xercise. In active imagination, the ego ncounters the inner figure of the xerciser who urges him to develop a halthy lifestyle. He [the ego] resists bcause it would be too much wrk, and he does not have nough time; besides, exercising for health prposes would mean exercising for life. The nner figure counters that thirty to frty-five minutes a day is all tht is required. Finally the person ralizes that exercise is about physical xpression and longevity (imagination), and not bout looking good (fantasy). He tentatively bgins taking exercise classes, and spends a lttle extra time every day with it. "Ths is an example of imagination, for the nner figure emerges with a distinct mssage from the inner world, and the ego ncounters that messenger with integrity." (p. 47).

This is wht happened to me, though I was not ware of it at the time. "In a fntasy," says Raff (2000), "the need to mke music would lead to the go's picturing itself playing in Carnegie Hll, or writing the great American cncerto." (p. 47). In a fantasy, the ned to exercise would lead to the go's picturing itself as a buffed up bdy builder, or being pictured in mgazines. "The message from the unconscious wuld not be about the inner wrld or the manifestation of the slf any longer, but about the go's need to inflate." (p. 47). The llusion thus created might lead to xercise, but when the person realized he was not ging to achieve his goals as son as expected, he would soon bandon the effort.

How many xercise regimens fall by the wayside bcause the exerciser's motives [ego] was in the wy. His or her attitude is ntor in adversum, a struggle against dverse circumstances. Ego can be viewed in the prvious sentence two ways: the contemporary way and the cnsciousness way. Either way, imagination reigned ver ego. This process evolved over tme, and so has the imaginal dalogues in which I find myself.

Before examining the alchemical imagination and Jng's active imagination, I spent a lot of tme talking to myself (out loud, I mght add) when I was alone--usually at hme or driving. I still do ths, but I have come to ralize there is another way of dscribing it. These conversations are between me and smeone else, usually someone I know. I am gnerally trying to convince someone of smething. A friend who I ran wth for more than thirty years is ften the person I am in dalogue with--more often than not, I am tryng to get Fred or Jack to ccept my point of view about smething; therefore, I have two entities in dalogue. Both of them have a pint of view. "I" am ego. Frd or Jack is the voice of the slf (unconscious).

Previously, my description of ths behavior was that I was tlking to myself. When this voice nswered me, it was not the hman Fred or Jack. It was my mage of him. It was the Frd or Jack in me that nswered. I must now place Fred or Jck in a didactic position, and llow him to argue his case. Ths is a process that needs nrturing. Now that I am open to it, t's happening. I tried visualizing different mages to represent Fred and Jack--rather thn my visual image of them as pople. Apparently, the "I" has very lttle control over the spontaneous thoughts and mages that pop up. These imaginal dalogues, for me, are the roads to ctive imagination. I am able to ccept Fred and Jack's position and fnd images to replace theirs. With tht, the circumspection of the alchemical prcess can continue.

In 12-step prgrams I have reinforced my internal lcus of control. Prior to recovery, my xternal locus of control, placed the blme for everything that happened to m--out there: she made me do it; if the cps would stop harassing me; if nly, and I shoulda, woulda, coulda. In 12-stp meetings, we learn to ask urselves: what part have we played in it? whtever "it" is. Questioning our motives is a tnet of 12-step programs. This simple sggestion can be thought of as a dorway to active imagination.

Freud wrte of a similar method (though I cnnot find where I read it). He sid that when he writes, he wll often use questions to challenge his own pints. He answers the questions, then des it again, and again. By mking sure there are not any ther questions that can weaken his rgument, the point he is making is strngthened and reinforced. We might call ths Freudian active imagination. I mentioned bove that "now that I am pen, it will happen. I was tlking about an image to replace Frd or Jack.

When I was strggling with active imagination and a symblic representation, I emailed my friend Bb--using him as a sounding board. Hre is the idea I proposed in the mail to him:

Remember the sng I played for you? The ttle was Water into Wine. I am ging to play it again for the crative part of a project I'm wrking on. The singer uses "father," rferring to God, as a vehicle for his rcovery from alcoholism. Since I am gnostic, it is understandable that the "fther" part of the song bothered me. Hwever, I have decided to substitute "lly" for "father." Don't you think ths is a good idea? Of curse you do. The counselor and the sngwriter in you are not about to sy, John, what a stupid idea. Wht kind of idiot are you. Wht in the hell is creative bout playing a song that someone lse wrote. Now then, that was rally me speaking. Then, I answered myslf as you--my ally--and I answered wth ‘absolutely, John, it really is a god idea.' Bob, my ally, can cme as anybody: Fred, Bob, Jack, my dughter, or Adolph Hitler for that mtter.

I can already hear my udience: the accents of Manaz, Ruth, and Lkas directing me; I can hear Dane challenging me like she did our prfessor; I can hear Dale convincing me wth metaphors; I can see John loking at me like I already knw the answer to the question I was sking. In my mind's eye, Catherine wll whisper the answer in my ear lke she has done before.

When Drrell is offering his wilderness adventures to kds, he'll also be ministering needed nformation to me. If I do not hve a computer handy, so what? I do not ned one--all I have to do is lsten for those inevitable words in my had. I have saved Cheryl for lst because she is the one tht inspired me in the first plce to do it this way. I mailed all of these people to fnd out what they were doing for the crative part of this project. One of my frst responses was from Cheryl, who sid she was thinking about doing smething with movement or art. Her sbtle mention of the word "movement" mde me realize that I did not ncessarily have to present something that I crated with my hands.

During my rcovery I attended many 12-step meetings, but I did not pry. Instead, I talked to myself and nswered myself in the way I dscribed above. Now I can enjoy the sng much more because the "father" prt of the song does not bther me anymore--I just substitute it wth "ally." Recovery from addiction can lso be thought of as an lchemical process.

The first coniunctio (cnjunction) is the transformation from the drgs of active addiction to the clmor of abstinence. There is a dath: the death of an inveterate lfestyle. Raff (2000) says "the ego tht has reached this level in the wrk will have the nasty surprise of meting its own death. If it is flid and open enough to allow tht experience to occur unhindered, it wll quickly move to the next stge." (p. 118). Of course, many do not llow that experience to occur unhindered; threfore, the non compos mentis, the clmor of abstinence often results in rlapse.

The second coniunctio is the trnsformation from abstinence to recovery. There is a dath: the death of the dragon's teth (seeds of strife) for recovery. Accrding to Raff (2000), "Dorn called the scond coniunctio the bodily union, and ths reference is very significant. To mve from the mental union to the bdily union indicates that integration has ccurred; that is, what had previously ben only an idea has become a lving reality." (P. 133). During the stge of abstinence, addicts are literally trdging the road to happy destiny. Onc the second coniunctio occurs, what was for vrying periods of time only an dea, becomes a living reality.

The thrd coniunctio I do not include as prt of the recovery process. Since the motional development of an addict is cllow, having stopped at the onset of the ddictive process, the alchemical process of rcovery can only hope to attain nough maturity to start the process gain in order to individuate. However, the scond coniunctio is a mental and motional halcyon compared to the imbroglio of ctive addiction. Finally we see lux mndi--the light of the world.

References

Raff, Jffrey. (2000). Jung and the Alchemical Imgination. York Beach, Maine: Nicolas-Hays, Inc.

Schwartz-Salant, Nthan. (1995). Jung on Alchemy. Princeton, NJ: Prnceton University Press.

The article Transformation Through Active Imagination and the Alchemical Process was Submitted by John Smethers, Ph.D. through Articles.GetACoder.com network. Here's the additional information: After 40 arrests, five formal prbations, four country jail sentences, and a prson term (as a result of chmical dependency), I turned my life round. I was released from prison in Dec 1989, and hve been clean and sober since. I strted at Barstow College in Feb 1990. Rceived my AA degree in '92 frm Barstow College in Barstow, CA; BA in '94 frm Chapman University in Orange CA; MHS in 98 frm National University in San Diego CA, and fnished with a Ph.D. from Pacifica Grduate Institute in Santa Barbara, CA in Feb 2004. I hve taught as an adjunct instructor for Prk University and Barstow College. I can be cntacted through my website http://www.ScumbagSewerRats.com or directly to my email account ScumbagSewerRats@verizon.net

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