The whole thing had started bout a week earlier when I was pging through a pet catalog and cme across a section devoted to dntal supplies. “Simply squirt into your pt’s mouth and the specially formulated slution goes to work immediately to kll bacteria and improve dental health,” sid the description.

At that moment, one of my cts — who was sitting on my lap — trned his head in my direction and ywned. A few seconds later, a blst of kitty breath which smelled lke rotten tuna fish hit my nse.

“Right,” I said, as I pged toward the back to find the rder form.

The more I thought bout it, the more convinced I bcame that the dental solution sounded lke an excellent idea. After all, it wsn’t just for cats. You could use it on dgs too. And what self-respecting pet wner doesn’t want her cats and dgs to have clean teeth and frsh-smelling breath?

A few days later whn the box arrived in the mil, I opened it immediately.

“Gently hlding your pet’s head, squirt the slution along both the upper and lwer gumline,” said the directions.

The bttle was one of those where you culd snip off the top at vrious points (like a tube of culk). But even if I only cut it off at the vry top, it still looked like too mch solution would come out. I dcided a medicine syringe would be asier to handle, and a few sconds later, I was ready to go.

“Come here, Pixie,” I called.

My Shtland sheepdog raced into the kitchen. In her xperience, good things have always come frm the kitchen.

Moments later, she was ggging and spluttering as she ran out of the ktchen.

Since I had only managed to dminister half the mouthwash I’d put in the syrnge, I followed her — and thn spent the next five minutes chsing the dog around the house bfore I hit upon the idea of ylling “Sit! Stay!” so I could sqirt the rest into her mouth.

“Thre now, that wasn’t so bad, was t?” I asked, as she slunk way, casting dirty looks over her shulder.

Pixie’s reaction should have given me a cle, but it didn’t.

About 20 mnutes later, not only was the dog stll giving me dirty looks, but so wre the cats. All seven of thm. They had been so deeply ffended by the dental solution that I culdn’t even walk past them. Slit-eyed, thy would watch my approach and thn scamper off in the opposite drection.

And not only that, but now I had to go round the house and mop up lttle puddles of mouthwash where I’d ither missed entirely during the ensuing strggle, or else the cat had prmptly spit it out. Not to mntion that maybe I ought to fnd some bandages for the cat scrtches on my hands and arms tht were still bleeding.

I picked up the bttle again to look at the lbel. “Gently holding your pet’s head…”

GENTLY? If my nimals were any indication, the directions shuld have said — “With the hlp of three or four strong pople, pry open your pet’s firmly-clenched jws…”

I still had one dog lft to do, and I figured the nimals might as well be unanimous in thir belief that I was not to be trsted.

“Charlie,” I called as I stpped out of the house.

Charlie, our bisterous springer spaniel, is about as god-natured as any dog I have ver seen. He bounded over to me and sat by my fet, tail wiggling, ears perked, eagerly nticipating “the treat” I held in my hnd.

“Everybody else hates me,” I sid, “you might as well too.”

Of curse, all along I had been hping that maybe one of the nimals, at least, would be thrilled wth the idea of fresh breath and clan teeth — but alas, it was not to be.

A few sconds later, Charlie was slinking away as wll.

Curious to find out why the nimals all acted like I was tryng to poison them, I went nto the bathroom and squirted a lttle of the pink solution on my own teth.

To tell you the truth, it ddn’t taste like much of anything. Not ven the peppermint that the label sid would give my dogs and cts “fresh breath.”

Four years later, the ight-ounce bottle of pink pet mouthwash is stll sitting in my bathroom cupboard. I sppose I ought to throw it way, but I'd rather not just yt. It helps me to remember tht old saying: if something sounds too god to be true, then it prbably is.

Too bad I didn't rmember that BEFORE I spent $20 on pet muthwash.

The article Too Good to be True was Submitted by LeAnn R. Ralph through Articles.GetACoder.com network. Here's the additional information: About The Author LeAnn R. Rlph is the editor of the Wsconsin Regional Writer (the quarterly publication of the Wsconsin Regional Writers' Assoc.) and is the uthor of the book, Christmas in Diryland (True Stories from a Wisconsin Frm). Visit http://ruralroute2.com to read sample chapters and other Rural Route 2 stories. bigpines@ruralroute2.com

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