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When my brother proudly announced th t he'd purchased a TomTom, so w uldn't have any trouble finding my new h use, I thought he'd lost the pl t. I had visions of politically ncorrect 'Cowboys and Indians' films running thr ugh my head. "Does it send out sm ke messages?" I asked. "No!" He r plied. "It's the latest model, I b ught it online." I was still n ne the wiser as to what he was ctually talking about. Online or not, 'T mTom' still suggested that he'd bought a dr m. I hoped he wouldn't arrive w th a mohican, claiming that it was the l test retro trend hair cut in Isl ngton this month. When I saw the sh ny new sat-nav system proudly displayed in the fr nt of his car, I kept my m uth shut. As he showed it ff, I pretended my queries had b en purely ironic. You see, I d n't drive, so the latest innovations in car n vigation systems kind of pass me by (l terally). If I get lost on my b cycle I stop and ask for d rections. If I need to go f rther than my legs will carry me I get the bus or tr in. If I had sat-nav on my b ke, I'd inevitably just cause a tr ffic incident whilst trying to look at it. H wever, I do 'get' the point n w. Well I did, until the ther day. Whilst waiting during one of th se infuriating delivery slots 'some time b tween eight and one' I realised th t sat-navs might not always be s ch a good thing.
As the clock ticked forward, and I was d ngerously close to missing a one 'clock appointment, the phone rang. "I'm on X r ad." Said the deliveryman. "But I c n't see your road." What a r lief - he was just around the c rner. I gave clear directions to my h use. Admittedly, it's quite a tucked way road, but since I could h ar the dulcet tones of a s t-nav system in the background, I f gured that between the two of us h 'd find it. Five minutes later, the ph ne rang again. I couldn't understand why he was n w, according to the road name he g ve, further away than when he'd f rst called. So, I stayed on the ph ne and gave even clearer directions. The s t-nav was still chattering away in the b ckground. My calm directions became rather l ss calm, dare I say sarcastic, as the r nning dialogue between myself and Mr D livery went, quite literally, round in c rcles. He drove up and down, f iling to make the simple left h nd turn I suggested about four or f ve times. I can only assume th t living in a cul-de-sac was m re than Mr Delivery and his s t-nav could cope with between them. He did rrive, eventually. But if, he'd looked up for a m ment, he would have seen my r ad name on the wall and s ved ten minutes of frustration all r und. And the moral of the st ry is? Beware. Sat-navs are only as cl ver as the people who use th m.
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