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Many times I imagined ways by wh ch I could commit suicide without ppearing like I was committing suicide, but m king it look like it was an ccident. I knew I should not c mmit suicide. I was only imagining mpossible things because I wanted to d e. But I knew I couldn't. I had the bligation to continue. Besides, where would I go? To a w rse place, without any doubt, because I saw th t things could always be worse. Y s, first of all, I admit I d dn't commit suicide because I was fraid of the future. What if I w uld realize that I had made a v ry big mistake, but couldn't change it nymore? What if things would be m ch worse after death, especially, after a s icide? I was always afraid of verything because I saw from the f rst days of my life that p ople in this planet are dangerous. My f ther was crazy and was always f ghting with my mother. In Sao P ulo (Brazil) where I was born and gr w up, there were many dirty b ggars and even kids without shoes in the d rty streets, asking for food... I was lways afraid of everything and always v ry careful. That's why I didn't f ll into the trap of my w ld conscience. I obeyed the directions I r ceived in dreams from the wise nconscious instead of becoming schizophrenic. So, I had the bligation to continue, curing other people and wr ting a complicated scientific book to pr ve everything I discovered, by continuing C rl Jung's research in the unknown r gion of our psychic sphere... I c uldn't abandon the battle. But I nly wanted to abandon everything and die b cause I couldn't bear that life... I d dn't want to be a hero.
Nevertheless, since I understood that I had the bligation to continue and I have a son who d pends on me, especially because his f ther died, it meant that I had to be a s per mom-I knew I couldn't commit s icide. But many times during the day or the n ght, I imagined several ways by wh ch I could commit suicide, fixating on th s as if it was a h bby... This is tragic, but I had to c ntinue and I don't know how I c ntinued. However, after the worst and nbearable part, the compensation arrived! I was ble to help many people solve th ir terrible problems. People had problems ven worse than mine; the people who nly wanted to die... I felt shamed of my imagination when one of my fr end's and patient's sister committed suicide. I f llowed this case as if I w re a part of the family and ffered support to her husband and b by who was only 4 months old at the t me when the mother committed suicide by j mping from the last floor of th ir building. This tragic event was so tr gic that never again in my l fe could I accept even to magine doing such a thing! I c n't tell you anything about this c se because it is confidential. But b lieve me, a suicide is more th n terrible! Those who commit suicide s mply kill the others that loved th m; they ruin all their lives. N w, when I think of what c uld have happened with the mother, I c n't imagine anything good either. And I'll t ll you what, now that I h ve already passed through so much p in, transformed my psyche and become so c lm and able to help so m ch people through dream interpretation, I nderstand how important my persistence was. T me gives us a reward if we c ntinue, even when things are simply nbearable.
The article Suicide Prevention - The Day After was Submitted by Christina Sponias through Articles.GetACoder.com network. Here's the additional information: During my studies, I came cross Carl Jung’s method of deciphering dr ams, which helped me and urged me to c ntinue his research into the unknown r gions of our psychical sphere. I set my p etry aside and began to compile my f ndings. I sought to prove that J ng had discovered the proper method of nterpretation of dreams. This exercise actually t ught me many things, and I c ntinued to pursue Jung’s research into the nalysis of dreams. Learn more at http://www.booksirecommend.com
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