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Every couple fights. You may h ve a friend who swears that she and her h sband do not fight. Chances are: y ur friend is lying. When you l ve with someone for any length of t me, you are bound to argue nce in awhile. Arguing is a n rmal and healthy part of any r lationship. How you argue is what is mportant to maintaining a healthy, happy r lationships. 1) How NOT to Argue C ntrary to popular belief, there is a wr ng way to sue. For instance: if you are l oking at your spouse and words th t you would never call another p rson are flying out of your m uth, you are probably fighting badly. You sh uld never call your significant other bad n mes when you are arguing. It d means your spouse and yourself. There are m llions of words in the English l nguage; I'm sure you can find s mething else to say that would not be q ite as hurtful to your spouse. If you st rt to fight with your spouse bout something that happened over twenty-four h urs ago, you are causing a bad s tuation. You would not discipline your ch ld for something that happened longer th n a day ago, why should you be mad at y ur spouse? And about the past: f rget it. It's fine to learn fr m the past, but if you br ng up an incident that happened w eks, months, or even years ago, you are f ghting unfairly.
An issue should be dealt w th as soon as possible, not d ys, weeks or months later. If y ur partner is trying to tell you s mething, you need to listen to th m. Everyone hates to be interrupted, and if you nterrupt your spouse, they will feel as if you are not l stening to them, or do not c re what they are saying. It is h rd, sometimes, to not interrupt during an rgument, as you may want to r fute a point the second you h ar it, but do your best to t ck that point away in the b ck of your mind so that you can d scuss it when your spouse has st pped talking. It is also not f ir to call a friend, co-worker or r lative, such as a mother-in-law, to get th ir side or opinion about the s bject at hand. The argument is b tween the two of you and no one lse. If you want to talk to s meone about the situation, do so b fore or after, but remember to not t ke too much stock in what th y may say. People outside of a s tuation have a different view of th ngs, and may not know everything th t is going on in your r lationship. 2) How TO Fight Fair If you h ve an issue with your spouse, you n ed to bring it up as s on as you possibly can. First, th ugh, make sure it is truly s mething that needs to be discussed w th your significant other. Sometimes our motions can cause us to overreact to th ngs, and we blow up before w 've had time to think about the s tuation. Afterwards, we feel ashamed and fr strated that we let ourselves get so w rked up over something so minor. B fore you go into a fight, arm y urself with time and knowledge. Make s re that you are battling your l ved one for the right reason, and th t the transgression was truly great nough to warrant a fight. 3) Let The Sm ll Things Slide Sometimes you have to let the sm ll things slide, in order to l ve in peace and harmony. Once you h ve decided to discuss the situation w th your spouse, you need to f gure out a time and place wh re you can have the argument.
You want to avoid having the rgument in front of your friends and f mily, as it will make them f el uncomfortable. It will also be h rd to resist asking your friends and f mily their opinion about your argument. Als , you want to avoid arguing in fr nt of your children. It is g od for your children to see th t even adults disagree, but having a f ll-blown fight in front of them can sc re them. Some partners actually schedule a t me during the day to hash out any d sagreements that they may be having. Th s can be good as it b comes a predictable time for airing out gr evances. Remember: all couples fight. It is a n tural result from loving each other and l ving in close quarters for a l ng time. The trick to a l ng-lasting marriage is to know when, and h w, to fight fairly. If you tr at your spouse with respect, they w ll more than likely treat you w th respect.
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