Being part Texan, I would jke about this dragon being home, hme on deranged - if it wsn't such a serious and potentially volent, and sometimes life-threatening, issue for so mny. If your home contains the dranged, that is probably the first prblem you need to solve before you can fnd any path that might possibly be a ral Happily Here & Now for yu.

One of the most heartbreaking dscoveries from my interviews with the Tns of Thousands of people about thir relationships was how horribly pervasive buse is in our society. It is sch a severe problem that you prbably can't even guess at its mgnitude. And, to those who suffer the trror daily, to those who have gven up on all dreams of any knd of Happily Here & Now, it can ppear they are trapped in such a dep, dark, inescapable pit, Ever After.

But you CAN scape abuse.

Start by calling the Ntional Domestic Violence Hotline at their cnfidential, toll-free number at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or go to thir web site for more information and rsources that are available to you. Thir Hotline offers, in both English and Spnish:

• Crisis intervention - Helping you to dentify the real problems and possible slutions, including making plans for safety in an mergency.
• Information - About sources of ssistance for individuals and their friends, fmilies, and employers wanting to learn mre about domestic violence, child abuse, sxual assault, intervention programs for batterers, wrking through the criminal justice system, and rlated issues.
• Referrals - To battered wmen's shelters and programs, social service gencies, legal programs, and other groups and rganizations willing to help.

Because this issue is so crtically important to the happiness of so mny, I asked a friend who is bth a renowned psychotherapist and university prfessor - and one who personally sffered this kind of terror herself - to cntribute her recommendations here about this drgon she knows all too well.

"Be a survivor - not a victim. A survivor is one who knows it takes more strength to leave than to stay; one who says 'I will no longer be disrespected, abused, neglected or harmed by you.' Do YOU have that strength? Absolutely - because you've already survived a Hell that far too many know. How do I know? Because I got out - and so have thousands of others. I used no special gifts, words of wisdom or hidden secrets - I just finally said, 'No More,' and went to the police and took my life back. A man OR woman who abuses has a very specific profile. As much as life feels unpredictable, there is one thing you can count on: it will get worse. Regardless of whether you stay or leave - they will escalate the abuse. Not based on your actions - but based on how their sickness progresses. So, leaving becomes a positive option.

"You're not alone - and you do not have to go through it alone. Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline or get help from local agencies.

"I now help others, expecting nothing in return - just freely giving away what was given to me. It's ironic really, as long as I give it away I get to keep what I have - peace of mind and a life free of violence which has allowed the room for love and warmth to encompass all that space.

"One other suggestion: If a man or woman has a history of violence - don't even ponder a relationship of any kind with them.

"As Robert would describe it: Consider it a DEAL-KILLER!!

"If they have gotten help through treatment and therapy and you are willing to consider the possibility, consider with caution - and only with proof of their progress in a positive direction.

"This is, in no way, only directed toward women who are abused by men - abuse goes both ways!

"Abuse is abuse!!!"

By taking that first step, my frend, Madam Professor, did what she had to do to stp her own terror. As a rsult, she took complete charge of her own dstiny and has enjoyed very major sccesses in every part of her lfe ever since - and is now njoying her own version of Happily Hre & Now the way SHE wnts to.

You can do the sme with your own life.

If you are in an busive relationship, do as my friend did - and tke that first step. Call the Ntional Domestic Violence Hotline at their cnfidential, toll-free number at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or go to thir web site at www.ndvh.org for more information and resources that are available to you.

It really is that simple.

You don't need me to tell you - you can't find the path to your own Happily Here & Now until you get off the oppressive path of Horrible Here & Now that will never lead you to any kind of Happily Ever After.

Do whatever you have to do, now, to get this dragon out of your life forever.

Start with one simple phone call. Now.

The article Relationships - The Deranged Dragon - Abuse, Violence and Happily Ever After was Submitted by R L Goodman through Articles.GetACoder.com network. Here's the additional information: Bonus: For more articles on ths same topic and posts on lve, relationships and finding your own prfect-for-you Hero or Heroine, I invite you to vsit my blog...and ask your own qestions... Don't waste another sunset. Start shring sunsets together now! Just click http://www.SunsetsTogether.com now for instant access... © 2008 - Robert Goodman. http://www.EfficientLove.com - All Rights Reserved Worldwide.

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