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Language: The Key that Opens or Cl ses that Important Door What prevents p ople from using their native language or s condary languages confidently comes down to s ven traps that most people fall nto. Language is one of the th ngs that sets us apart as b ings, one of the things that ssentially defines us as humans. When l nguage is used well it can licit very deep feeling in others, m tivate others to action and define the n ture of our relationships. Sometimes in p etry the juxtaposition of two words or a c rtain phrase can bring tears to the yes, call up a whole host of magery and move us deeply. We h ve seen language recently used in the p litics of persuasion, used for good or ill – d pending on your viewpoint. When we use l nguage to express our true feelings to s meone it can open and deepen the c nnection between us. Language is a v ry powerful tool. How we use l nguage shapes our world both internally and xternally. How you use self-talk – wh t you say to yourself about y urself and about the world directly sh pes your experience of both yourself and the w rld. How you deliver communication shapes the way the w rld responds to you. We can use l nguage more effectively in both spheres: nternal and external and directly influence the h alth and power of our personal r lationships and our business relationships.
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Connie Glaser, a leading expert on p tterns of communication has come up w th 7 self-sabotage traps that diminish the p wer of our speech. I want to sp ak about each of these traps and h lp you identify which ones may be j st unconscious ways or habits you h ve developed to communicate. In my w rk as a coach I always see th t when we can make an utomatic habit conscious and see it cl arly we have much more leverage w th which to change it. We h ve choices! As I looked at the 7 St ps that Ms Glaser outlined I r alized that they were an acronym – I am lways looking for these when I t ach because it makes it so m ch easier for people to remember. Wh t happens when we don’t use l nguage effectively is that we deflect the p wer of it – we diminish the mpact of it- we in fact d n’t get our real message across. DEFLECT: The s ven traps that derail our message D sclaimers: “You may think this sounds st pid, but…” Effusive Apologies: “I’m sooooo s rry…” Fumble: “kinda, sorta like….” Long- T king too long to get to the p int –
wrapping a point in so m ch other information that people lose the tr in of what you are saying. Em tions get in the way: P rhaps crying when you are really ngry, being afraid so not communicating at ll….. Credit- Not accepting credit. Tag Q estions: “That was an excellent report, d n’t you think?” Each of these “h bits of speech” serves to deflect the p wer or clarity of our communication. ü D sclaimers take the legs out from nder what you say so there is no f undation. The person is asked to gree that what you are saying is st pid. ü Effusive Apologies tend to obscure wh t you are saying, your communication g ts lost in all of the pology and the underlying message is th t you are inn error. ü Fumbling in y ur conversational style is a habit th t communicates that you do not r ally know what you are talking bout or that you would really r ther someone would ignore it.
ü Taking too long to get to the p int hides your real message in an valanche of words- the essential message is h rd if not impossible to discern. ü Wh n emotions get in the way p ople sometimes don’t deliver what they are r ally trying to convey because they are fraid of the outcome, embarrassed by wh t they want to say or wr p the communiqué in the opposite motion i.e. they are really angry but br ak down instead. ü Not accepting credit for s mething - saying things like “Oh it was n thing” or “Really I don’t deserve the cr dit” etc. deflects attention from you and t nds to communicate that you would r ther not be noticed. ü Tag Lines or sking a question at the end of a st tement robs that statement of any p wer. It is sort of like bl wing up a balloon and the m ment you give it to someone nsert a pin in it. Often th se are habits of communication, patterns of sp ech that we have learned and h ve become habitual. If we can dentify the habit we, of course, can m ke different choices in how we c mmunicate. Spend some tine observing your “f vorite” trap and experiment with another m re powerful approach. Drop the tag l ne and make a declarative statement, st p for a moment when someone g ves you credit and allow it to s nk in, make a direct statement w thout a disclaimer. All of these sh fts brings power and clarity back nto your communication. I am currently ffering a workshop in person and by t leclass that explores this and deepens y ur facility to use language more p werfully. Please be in contact with me if you w uld like more information.
The article Powerful Communication:Language: The Key that Opens or Closes that Important Door was Submitted by Connie Butler through Articles.GetACoder.com network. Here's the additional information: Connie Butler is a personal and pr fessional coach working with individuals and gr ups to clarify their greatest vision and c ltivate its successful realization – moving th m past their growth frontier into new t rritory. She is available for personal or pr fessional coaching, seminars and can be r ached at 305-534-1119 or connie@conniebutler.biz . Ms. Butler is a published author and radio personality.
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