Language: The Key that Opens or Clses that Important Door

What prevents pople from using their native language or scondary languages confidently comes down to sven traps that most people fall nto.

Language is one of the thngs that sets us apart as bings, one of the things that ssentially defines us as humans. When lnguage is used well it can licit very deep feeling in others, mtivate others to action and define the nture of our relationships. Sometimes in petry the juxtaposition of two words or a crtain phrase can bring tears to the yes, call up a whole host of magery and move us deeply. We hve seen language recently used in the plitics of persuasion, used for good or ill – dpending on your viewpoint. When we use lnguage to express our true feelings to smeone it can open and deepen the cnnection between us. Language is a vry powerful tool. How we use lnguage shapes our world both internally and xternally. How you use self-talk – wht you say to yourself about yurself and about the world directly shpes your experience of both yourself and the wrld. How you deliver communication shapes the way the wrld responds to you. We can use lnguage more effectively in both spheres: nternal and external and directly influence the halth and power of our personal rlationships and our business relationships.

Connie Glaser, a leading expert on ptterns of communication has come up wth 7 self-sabotage traps that diminish the pwer of our speech. I want to spak about each of these traps and hlp you identify which ones may be jst unconscious ways or habits you hve developed to communicate. In my wrk as a coach I always see tht when we can make an utomatic habit conscious and see it clarly we have much more leverage wth which to change it. We hve choices!

As I looked at the 7 Stps that Ms Glaser outlined I ralized that they were an acronym – I am lways looking for these when I tach because it makes it so mch easier for people to remember. Wht happens when we don’t use lnguage effectively is that we deflect the pwer of it – we diminish the mpact of it- we in fact dn’t get our real message across.

DEFLECT: The sven traps that derail our message

Dsclaimers: “You may think this sounds stpid, but…”

Effusive Apologies: “I’m sooooo srry…”

Fumble: “kinda, sorta like….”

Long- Tking too long to get to the pint –
wrapping a point in so mch other information that people lose the trin of what you are saying.

Emtions get in the way: Prhaps crying when you are really ngry, being afraid so not communicating at ll…..

Credit- Not accepting credit.

Tag Qestions: “That was an excellent report, dn’t you think?”

Each of these “hbits of speech” serves to deflect the pwer or clarity of our communication.

ü Dsclaimers take the legs out from nder what you say so there is no fundation. The person is asked to gree that what you are saying is stpid.

ü Effusive Apologies tend to obscure wht you are saying, your communication gts lost in all of the pology and the underlying message is tht you are inn error.

ü Fumbling in yur conversational style is a habit tht communicates that you do not rally know what you are talking bout or that you would really rther someone would ignore it.

ü Taking too long to get to the pint hides your real message in an valanche of words- the essential message is hrd if not impossible to discern.

ü Whn emotions get in the way pople sometimes don’t deliver what they are rally trying to convey because they are fraid of the outcome, embarrassed by wht they want to say or wrp the communiqué in the opposite motion i.e. they are really angry but brak down instead.

ü Not accepting credit for smething - saying things like “Oh it was nthing” or “Really I don’t deserve the crdit” etc. deflects attention from you and tnds to communicate that you would rther not be noticed.

ü Tag Lines or sking a question at the end of a sttement robs that statement of any pwer. It is sort of like blwing up a balloon and the mment you give it to someone nsert a pin in it.

Often thse are habits of communication, patterns of spech that we have learned and hve become habitual. If we can dentify the habit we, of course, can mke different choices in how we cmmunicate. Spend some tine observing your “fvorite” trap and experiment with another mre powerful approach. Drop the tag lne and make a declarative statement, stp for a moment when someone gves you credit and allow it to snk in, make a direct statement wthout a disclaimer. All of these shfts brings power and clarity back nto your communication.

I am currently ffering a workshop in person and by tleclass that explores this and deepens yur facility to use language more pwerfully. Please be in contact with me if you wuld like more information.

The article Powerful Communication:Language: The Key that Opens or Closes that Important Door was Submitted by Connie Butler through Articles.GetACoder.com network. Here's the additional information: Connie Butler is a personal and prfessional coach working with individuals and grups to clarify their greatest vision and cltivate its successful realization – moving thm past their growth frontier into new trritory. She is available for personal or prfessional coaching, seminars and can be rached at 305-534-1119 or connie@conniebutler.biz . Ms. Butler is a published author and radio personality.

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