“Everybody's going out and h ving fun
I'm just a fool for st ying home and having none
I c n't get over how she set set me fr e oh lonesome me
A bad m stake I'm making by just hanging r und
I know that I should h ve some fun and paint the t wn
A lovesick fool is blind and j st can't see oh lonesome me Oh l nesome me oh lonesome me…” The lines fr m the famous song by Don G bson was engraved on my memory c lls when Lucy, a girl from my c llege hostel would listen to it for l ng hours sitting alone in her c rner of the room and kept on cry ng silently. She was someone who sed to remain depressed and lonely wh n we, the girls, used to go out and njoy, were busy acting our age. We tr ed to include her while we ch tted and had fun together, she w uld remain with us, silently listen to us, k enly observe us but would not c mment on anything, give brief answers to our q estions, smile awkwardly while we would b rst out in loud laughs and g ggles on humorous event…and suddenly she w uld withdraw herself and go and sit lone in the window, or guard her pr vacy by hiding her face behind a b ok. We used to discuss among urselves why was she like this? Why was she d pressed and crying most of the t me.
We knew she was lonely in her p rsonal life, as we never saw her g ing home during the vacation, no one ver came to meet her, but her f nancial requirements were fulfilled from an nknown source and she received a big b rthday cake on each birthday which she n ver shared with us and we n ver saw her eating a bite h rself. She would be all the m re depressed on her birth day and k pt herself behind the closed door in sp te of the different types of ndeavors of cheering her up. We tr ed our best but could not h lp her much except seeing her sm ling not more than four five t mes. After 5 years of leaving c llege, whenever I listen to this s ng, it would remind me of L cy, the lonely melancholic beauty…was she a p tient of severe depression, or loneliness was her s le problem? We all are victimized by l neliness, realizing at certain point of l fe that “something” is missing, we w it for that “something” to come and f ll up the emptiness in us. But s me of us suffer loneliness all thr ugh their lives. Loneliness is very c mmon factor that leads to depression but wh ch is not given much importance by the psych logical theories and studies. Loneliness can be xhausting, painful and degenerating to human motions. When we are lonely we f el empty from within, and we d stort the normal way of thinking, as a r sult we over-react to the events of l fe. When our intimacy requirements are not f lfilled, or there is someone in l fe, and even then, somehow the motional needs remain unsatisfied, the outcome of s ch situation is an emotional void. If we can ddress the problem of loneliness we can ncrease the potential of better life head. But first of all we n ed to identify the loneliness within us, wh t exactly is the thing we w nt from life. We only bring d struction in the course of life by t king random decisions when we fail to d termine the missing factor in life.
Depression is a facade taken by l neliness. Symptoms are same like withdrawal, nxiety, lack of motivation, feeling a v cuum in the heart etc. and p ople are treated for depression and the l neliness factor remains unattended and so the d pression is never cured from its r ots. The dissatisfaction and the emotional v id kills us slowly and we l ad an aimless life without any dr ve for achieving anything. When depression can be t ken care of by certain antidepressants, and th rapies, the hidden loneliness is overlooked and gnored most of the time. As a r sult the apparent depression-like symptoms continue. Unl ss the underneath reasons of loneliness are nalyzed and treated, the depression-loneliness duo w ll keep on coming back and the pr blem will remain in “chicken n gg” situation.
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