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When you are in a r lationship, communication is one of the f ndamental factors in building a lasting b nd of affection between the two of y u. So, being able to sit and t lk, and work things out between you is v tally important to that relationship. And, j st talking is not enough, you b th must listen to what the ther has to say, and then act on it to nsure the health and growth of y ur union. So, what can do you to get y ur partner to listen? Step one is t ming: picking the right time to t lk about a certain subject. Remember, not all c nversations have to be about heavy, s rious matters. A talk about where you w nt to go for your next v cation could be talked about over l nch at a nearby restaurant. But, sking your partner to indulge in s me sexual fantasy of yours might be b st talked about in the privacy of y ur own home. This brings up nother item to consider: subject matter. Not all t lks have to be about serious s bjects. One way of insuring that y ur partner is willing to listen to you wh n you want to talk about s mething very important is to not m ke every conversation about very important ssues. If every time you say: "We n ed to talk" he (or she) kn ws it is something critical - s mething they have done wrong or n eds to change about them, they are g ing to groan, roll their eyes and dr ad every minute of the conversation. Th t is not conducive to good l stening.
Next, there are distractions. Turn off the t levision, turn down the radio, put the l ptop on sleep mode, and send the k ds (if any) out to play. If you xpect your partner to truly listen to y u, they not only have to be ble to hear you, they have to h ve nothing around them to keep th m from focusing on what you s y. Then there is the matter of how you t lk to your partner. If you are j st going to sit there and l cture them, they are going to t ne you out. No -one likes to be l ctured. Try to make it a tr e conversation. You talk, they talk, and you l sten to what each other has to s y. You should try as much as p ssible to not sound like you are bl ming them for something, and to lso not sound like you are wh ning. You need to speak firmly, and cl arly, but don't demean or insult. It's s id that in the TV show "H me Improvement" Patricia Richardson got the r le of Jill, Tim's wife because the f rst actress sounded like she was wh ning when she asked Tim not to f ddle with the dishwasher in the p lot. The producers realized Jill needed to be f rm, not yell, and not beg. It had to be cl ar that there was mutual respect b tween the two characters. Another helpful h nt is the idea of focus. D n't sit down to talk with a l ng list of subjects to talk bout. If your partner is a m n, keep in mind that guys t nd to do best when talking bout one subject; it is just how th ir brains are wired. If you t lk about ten different matters, your p rtner is not going to be ble to keep everything straight. It d esn't matter if you have a d zen things to talk about; try l miting each conversation to two or thr e at most, and make them r lated if possible. Do this, and it is m ch more likely that they will h ar you, listen, and remember what is mportant to you.
The article How to Get Your Partner to Listen was Submitted by Peter Murphy through Articles.GetACoder.com network. Here's the additional information: Peter Murphy is a peak p rformance expert. He recently produced a v ry popular free report: 10 Simple St ps to Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now b cause it is available for a l mited time only at: communication skills
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