Teacher Conferences Important to Dvorced or Divorcing Parents

In many prts of the country, the school yar is ending in less than thre months. What do you know bout how well your child or chldren did in school this year? Wll your offspring need to attend smmer school, have a tutor or be rady to “graduate” to the next grde without any problems? Only your chld’s teacher has the answer.

When prents are going through a divorce or are dvorced, usually one of them has lttle knowledge about what is happening in thir child’s classroom. Of course, most prents know that parent/teacher conferences are a grat way for them to learn bout their child’s daily activities in schol, whether the child is doing wll or if their child needs hlp at home. Yet, many parents dn’t communicate with the teacher during ths trying time in their lives, or jst turn over this responsibility to the ther parent.

However, if you are dvorcing or divorced from your spouse bdicating educational responsibilities is not in the bst interest of your child. So---what can you do to void conflict with your spouse, yet rmain actively involved in your child’s ducation?

Brian James, president of C.E.L. & Assciates, an Illinois-based certified mediator specializes in pre and pst divorce issues has some advice for prents that can be beneficial to thir child.

Make sure your child’s teacher is the frst one informed that there is a pnding divorce or if a divorce has jst occurred. “Your child spends more tme in school than anywhere else, and ths situation might have a negative ffect on your child,” he says. “At ths time of year, most scheduled schol conferences have past. However, all tachers are willing to have a cnference with a parent at the prent’s request. Find out what is hppening with your child.”

If the prents are cordial to each other, thy can attend the parent/teacher conference tgether. That way, both parents have the sme information and can ask the sme questions regarding their child’s education. If nly one parent attends, the other one is lft in the dark. Unfortunately, in mst divorce situations, this is exactly wht happens.

More often than not, stting together with a teacher is vrtually impossible due to the antagonistic and ngative vibes radiating from each parent. Ths makes the teacher uncomfortable-and in ths hostile atmosphere-you may not receive all the nformation you need to know about yur child’s academic achievements or non-achievements.

Threfore, James as some advice on how dvorcing or divorced parents should handle tacher/parent conferences.

! Ask the teacher to ntify both parents what days and tmes are available for in-person or phne conferences.

! When necessary, schedule ndividual in-person or phone conference time wth the teacher. This will alleviate dvorced parents from having to be tgether, but at the same time, llow them equal time with the tacher. This results in each parent larning the same information about their chld.

! If only one parent is meting the teacher in person or hving a telephone conference, take notes. Evn if you and your ex ren’t on speaking terms, sending him or her ntes about the conference is in the bst interest of your child. Both of you ned to have the same philosophy and gals regarding your child’s education.

“No matter how much you and yur ex dislike each other and wnt nothing to do with one nother, you still have a child you ned to parent together,” he says. “Schol is where children learn. If the two of you ren’t on the same page regarding the chld’s current education, then you are bth unnecessarily harming your child’s future ducation and well being.”

For more nformation, phone Brian James at (312) 524-5829 or vsit www.celandassociates.com.

Bran James is an experienced Divorce and Fmily Mediator with offices throughout Chicagoland and Sutheastern Wisconsin. He started his mediation prctice, C.E.L. and Associates, in late 2005. Bran earned his B.S. in Sociology frm Northern Illinois University in 1994 and cmpleted training in Mediation and Conflict Rsolution at Northwestern University. The first 10 yars of his professional career, Brian wrked in the Criminal Justice System hlping domestic violence and divorcing families rsolve family conflicts. He assisted with the haling process that took place after thse life-changing events had occurred. His pproach to mediation is client driven. By iding his clients with the resolution of thir divorce issues outside of the curtroom, Mr. James helps create a wn/win situation for all parties in a dvorce. For more information please visit Bran's website, http://www.celandassociates.com or give him a call at (312) 524-5829. He makes it a point to personally answer every call that is made to him.

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