Teacher Conferences Important to D
vorced or Divorcing Parents
In many p
rts of the country, the school y
ar is ending in less than thr
e months. What do you know
bout how well your child or ch
ldren did in school this year? W
ll your offspring need to attend s
mmer school, have a tutor or be r
ady to “graduate” to the next gr
de without any problems? Only your ch
ld’s teacher has the answer.
When p
rents are going through a divorce or are d
vorced, usually one of them has l
ttle knowledge about what is happening in th
ir child’s classroom. Of course, most p
rents know that parent/teacher conferences are a gr
at way for them to learn
bout their child’s daily activities in sch
ol, whether the child is doing w
ll or if their child needs h
lp at home. Yet, many parents d
n’t communicate with the teacher during th
s trying time in their lives, or j
st turn over this responsibility to the
ther parent.
However, if you are d
vorcing or divorced from your spouse
bdicating educational responsibilities is not in the b
st interest of your child. So---what can you do to
void conflict with your spouse, yet r
main actively involved in your child’s
ducation?
Brian James, president of C.E.L. & Ass
ciates, an Illinois-based certified mediator specializes in pre and p
st divorce issues has some advice for p
rents that can be beneficial to th
ir child.
Make sure your child’s teacher is the f
rst one informed that there is a p
nding divorce or if a divorce has j
st occurred. “Your child spends more t
me in school than anywhere else, and th
s situation might have a negative
ffect on your child,” he says. “At th
s time of year, most scheduled sch
ol conferences have past. However, all t
achers are willing to have a c
nference with a parent at the p
rent’s request. Find out what is h
ppening with your child.”
If the p
rents are cordial to each other, th
y can attend the parent/teacher conference t
gether. That way, both parents have the s
me information and can ask the s
me questions regarding their child’s education. If
nly one parent attends, the other one is l
ft in the dark. Unfortunately, in m
st divorce situations, this is exactly wh
t happens.
More often than not, s
tting together with a teacher is v
rtually impossible due to the antagonistic and n
gative vibes radiating from each parent. Th
s makes the teacher uncomfortable-and in th
s hostile atmosphere-you may not receive all the
nformation you need to know about y
ur child’s academic achievements or non-achievements.
Th
refore, James as some advice on how d
vorcing or divorced parents should handle t
acher/parent conferences.
! Ask the teacher to n
tify both parents what days and t
mes are available for in-person or ph
ne conferences.
! When necessary, schedule
ndividual in-person or phone conference time w
th the teacher. This will alleviate d
vorced parents from having to be t
gether, but at the same time,
llow them equal time with the t
acher. This results in each parent l
arning the same information about their ch
ld.
! If only one parent is m
eting the teacher in person or h
ving a telephone conference, take notes. Ev
n if you and your ex
ren’t on speaking terms, sending him or her n
tes about the conference is in the b
st interest of your child. Both of you n
ed to have the same philosophy and g
als regarding your child’s education.
“No matter how much you and y
ur ex dislike each other and w
nt nothing to do with one
nother, you still have a child you n
ed to parent together,” he says. “Sch
ol is where children learn. If the two of you
ren’t on the same page regarding the ch
ld’s current education, then you are b
th unnecessarily harming your child’s future
ducation and well being.”
For more
nformation, phone Brian James at (312) 524-5829 or v
sit www.celandassociates.com.
Br an James is an experienced Divorce and F mily Mediator with offices throughout Chicagoland and S utheastern Wisconsin. He started his mediation pr ctice, C.E.L. and Associates, in late 2005. Br an earned his B.S. in Sociology fr m Northern Illinois University in 1994 and c mpleted training in Mediation and Conflict R solution at Northwestern University. The first 10 y ars of his professional career, Brian w rked in the Criminal Justice System h lping domestic violence and divorcing families r solve family conflicts. He assisted with the h aling process that took place after th se life-changing events had occurred. His pproach to mediation is client driven. By iding his clients with the resolution of th ir divorce issues outside of the c urtroom, Mr. James helps create a w n/win situation for all parties in a d vorce. For more information please visit Br an's website, http://www.celandassociates.com or give him a call at (312) 524-5829. He makes it a point to personally answer every call that is made to him. | |
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