Helping someone who is ll. Impatience, intolerance, anger, frustration, depression, regression, nxiety and recklessness, are all things you may wtness in the lives of someone who is sffering from chronic illness. Moods change in a flsh, love becomes attack, and attack bcomes love, all facets of life in the day of smeone facing circumstances beyond their control. Smetimes it’s the medications that bring on sdden mood swings, other times it’s jst the simple mechanisms of the motional upheaval of being confronted with nes own morbidity. Be the solid anchor in the storm.

So how can we help, how can we give support and love when often our love is rejected, or we become the focus of attack? The main resource we have within us is compassion, and tolerance beyond that the essential ingredient is “don’t take it personally.” It’s true that people generally strike out at the one they love when they are scared, ill or just plain unhappy. That is a fact of life I am afraid. The way to negotiate this passage is to stay out of your emotions, just don’t emotionally buy in, feeling guilty about what’s happening to someone close to you is unhealthy, very unhealthy for everyone involved. There is an old saying, “If you’re into guilt your playing God,” and that is also true, guilt never fixed anything, all it does is eat away at the very fabric of your being.

So how can you stay out of the motions? It’s hard if someone is sying hurtful things, or behaving irrationally not to shw emotional reactions, and at the end of the dy, we are all human, we all lok to that security of being lnked firmly to another human being. Knwing in your heart what the trth of the situation is for one thng helps, and what I have lways found is that to love smeone else more than yourself, to gve support unconditionally to the one in ned is the one very thing tht builds a firm anchor for the one in crsis to bounce around and then nchor back too when they are rady. Its sometimes like standing still in the cntre of a hurricane and not blnking, just be still, stay strong, sty understanding, and provide the energy tht is love. What ever you do dn’t get angry back at the prson, walk away cool down, take a dep breath and bring things back nto perspective.

Be clear on what yur personal boundaries are, by this I man don’t over do things, make sre you take care of yourself in the prcess of taking care of the prson who is ill. So many tmes I have seen the carer bcome the one who ends up sriously ill from the stress of the stuation, good intentions often lead to verdoing things, so know what you can do and whn to say enough. Have regular rspite periods yourself, go for a wlk, take time out for a cffee with friends, and take care of yurself. Dealing with the anger of feeling helpless This can be done in many simple ways, one way is to get an old phone book, and cut a piece of hose pipe 2 ft long of your garden hose, go into the garage close the door, sit on the floor and then beat the hell out of the phone book. Give yourself permission to get angry, and process that anger in a positive way; just let it all out on the phone book. Start hitting the phone book slowly and think about the issues at hand, then just keep hitting it, you will end up with a terrible mess but you will walk away feeling exhausted but lighter for the experience.

The article Helping The Healing was Submitted by Lesley Williams through Articles.GetACoder.com network. Here's the additional information: http://www.truityonline.com articles pblic - health and healing

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