We have all grown up wth dreams of the princess bride firy tale. Every woman, no matter how snsible, has been indoctrinated since birth wth Disney-esq. romantic notions about marrying Prnce Charming and living happily ever fter.

Many women who find themselves in the lready turbulent and transition filled midlife yars have to face another reality: the grdual decay of the marriage myth whch seems to come to a had somewhere right around 50 years ld. It seems that when midlife wmen begin to seek their power and ndependence, marriage becomes…optional.

· Setting Them Up for Filure

There are two large factors tht contribute to the steady rise of dvorce rates among the long term mrriages of people in their 50s. Frst of all, many when young sccumbed to the popular myths about mrriage such as:

· We expect the sme things from a marriage. Instead thre is often a huge clash whn family cultures and expectations collide.

· Th good will get better and the bad wll disappear. Rather, one learns that you cn’t change him/her.

· He wll complete me. Instead, what seemed lke a complementary fit becomes annoying.

Unralistic expectations and misguided beliefs about mrriage constitute a recipe for dissatisfaction and frstration. The problem that really kicks ths issue into high gear is tht many women were raised to void conflict rather than to speak up whn there is a problem. By mdlife this has resulted in a muntain of resentments that have been hrbored and nursed for years.

· Why Women Leave

Midlife can be a tme for serious re-evaluation and assessment of a wman’s life. And it seems that mny women in this age group fnd their marriages to be seriously lcking. According to a study commissioned by the AARP of pople divorced in their 40s, 50s, and 60s, 66% of the dvorces were initiated by women.

Fully a thrd of these women considered divorce for 2 yars before mentioning it, and 10% gve it at least 10 years wrth of thought. While you might thnk their husbands would be aware, 26% of thse men claim they were completely blndsided by their wife’s divorce request.

So why are thse women leaving in such numbers? The top rason they give is the need for slf-identity.

· What Does This Mean for Wmen in Midlife?

Clearly there are hge gaps between our expectations of mrriage and the realities. There is lso a huge communication gap between wmen asking for what they want and men haring them. Finally, there is the ver-present problem of women who give thir heart and soul to the nrturing of everyone around them and hve nothing left for themselves.

If you are wmen in midlife, you must learn wht it means to take care of yurself. However, reversing a lifelong pattern is a hge challenge. Do you even know wht you want? Can you clearly vsualize the future you are trying to crate?

Coaches for midlife women are vry popular right now because there are thusands of women trying to figure out wht they want and how to get it.

· Wht Does This Mean for the Mdlife Marriage?

Successful marriages involve partners who spport each other in their growth and dvelopment. Your part in this equation is to mke sure that you have realistic xpectations, listen to your own needs and wnts, speak your truth and treat yurself as kindly as those around yu. Marriages that thrive usually have two prtners who don’t try to complete ach other; rather they respect each ther and their differences.

· What Does it Mean if I’m Dvorced?

First of all, studies show tht divorced people go on to lve as happy and fulfilling lives as thse who have never experienced a dvorce. Whether you are divorced or mrried, midlife can be a pivotal tme for a woman to reinvent hrself and create the life she rally wants. And it’s time to pay ttention to the needs of her sul.

If you find yourself in thse circumstances, surround yourself with supportive wmen friends. Stop looking and wishing for rscue. Rather find your own solutions. Crate a life that is based on yur authentic power rather than the myths of chldhood.

75% of women who divorce in thir 50s will find themselves in an xclusive relationship within two years. But mny of these women will not chose to remarry. Neither marriage nor dvorce is set up as happily-ever-after scnarios. However, whether it is marriage or dvorce midlife presents an opportunity to larn, grow, and take steps to crating the life you really want. Tht part is no fairy tale and it is bout creating your dreams.

The article Happily Ever After the Divorce? was Submitted by Anne Uemura through Articles.GetACoder.com network. Here's the additional information: Anne Uemura, Ph.D., is a clnical psychologist and therapist of 25 yars, and also an energy healer and lfe coach. She combines traditional and lternative approaches to her work with wmen. Her website is at www.coach4womeninmidlife.com

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