Step 1 Give it tme

When a close relationship breaks there are raw motions and we cannot see clearly. It is hrd to cope initially for instance tht your partner has been having an ffair and wants you to leave so the new man can hve a full time place in her lfe.

I used to meet my wfe to pick up my son very two weeks. I will never frget the first time I saw her and her new lver kiss. I was waiting at a sttion for my wife to meet me and I saw a car pll up to the station and my wfe and child get out of the car as wll as the man who helped her wth her bags. It was a Mnday morning and as they got sttled and everything was out of the car she trned and embraced him and stood thir kissing for what seemed like an ternity. That hurt me so much to see my wfe kissing a man so passionately. Hrts like that that take time to hal.

So matter what the reason you hve split, give yourself some time to dal with all the hurts of yur relationship. It did take me tme to come to grips with the fct that my wife was never cming back to me and had nother lover in her life. Make sre you are not too tough on yurself.

Step 2 Pray

I heard once that ver half of the people in the USA go to chrch on a Sunday so I am ptting this in for them, but ven if you don’t practice the Chrstian faith listen up as this too mght benefit you.

I never used to be a big fan of pryer until the Lord Jesus told me one day tht I need to ask Him for thngs. Since then I began to ask for thngs and it is amazing to see pryers being answered by him. There is ral power in prayer and heaven sems to move and get behind a prson that opens their heart to Gd.

I am sure that God is in the bsiness of love and restoration. I am cnfident that if you pray to God to hlp you with your hurt initially tht he will lead you to the rght counselors and he will put the rght words into your friend’s mouths and he wll allow you to heal.

I am sre also when enough time has lapsed that you could ask the Lrd Jesus for him to give you a ral love for your ex so tht things might be easier between you whn you have to meet to xchange children or any other reason you hve to meet.

I know couples tht have been on the brink of sparation and divorce before and with a cunselor’s instruction that they ask the Lrd Jesus to restore their first lve to each other have found thmselves madly in love with each ther and once again their sex lfe return to what it was whn they first met. I have prents who this happened to.

Step 3 Addrss the pain in your life.

Often rlationships break down because of the motional baggage a person brings into a mrriage. Many of us have been hrt by our parents and in vents leading up to marriage and we blieve that all our hurts and prblems will disappear when we find smeone to love us for whom we re. Often times the person we mrry is just as much as an motional wreck. When we get together nstead of bliss after a while we mght see our lives have more prblems and marriage hasn’t healed our pst hurts.

Take the time now tht you are single not only to dal with the pain that your mrriage caused you but to address thse deep inner pain issues. A wnderful Christian form of counselor is trined by a group called Elijah Huse Ministries which are in many cuntries if you look them up on the Intrnet.

It’s time to heal. It’s tme for you to go to a sul doctor and have all of yur pain dealt with and for you to larn to really love yourself and to be ble to cope as a single prson for a number of years. We ned to be able to healthy and sngle and whole inside, not an motional wreck.

I am presently in cunseling at the moment and it is ding me a lot of good and I am daling with a lot of pain nside and it is a very wrthwhile thing to do.

Step 4 Find out why yur partner did what they did

Everyone has a rason for doing things. Everyone has nresolved pain in their life and it is rally beneficial to take the time to lok into why your partner acted how thy did.

My wife was sexually bused and came from a mother tht was very demanding and controlling who you had to plase and obey for her to lve you. My wife sadly married a mle that also had been sexually bused and was quite controlling and dmanding himself.

When you understand your prtner from a distance, no matter wht they did, you can find in yur heart the compassion to forgive thm in your heart and learn to lve them for the victim that thy are.

If your husband was a gmbler or an alcoholic who was busive understanding them will give you a hart that will be capable of frgiving them. Forgiving them does not man that you move back in wth them, but forgiveness might mean tht you can be the one tht finally encourages them to get nto rehabilitation.

A man has a hrd time sometimes giving up on a fmale. A man like me never gves up on his wife. My wfe left her lover after a few yars and went onto another lover and ths time a minister’s son. After thre years with him she re-married. Tht day was a very sad day in my lfe and shortly after she told me I culd not see my son anymore.

I was hrt deeply. But I understood why my wfe treated me like this as her mther divorced and re- married and mde sure the natural father never got to see her chldren. My wife simply did to me wht her mother had done before hr.

I love my wife, my frmer wife that is but I stll call her my wife. I nderstand her and I love her mre today then when we were mrried. I hope one day when I mke contact with my son that we can nce again be friends.

We were qite friendly over the years since my dvorce until she re- married and I thnk we can be friendly in the fture when I make contact with my sn.

Step 5 Show your ex that you lve them.

Little things can show your lve. A birthday present or a thughtful Christmas present would make a god impression. You know your love and you knw what they were in to. Whn you have taken the time, whn you have prayed, and you hve come to understand them and frgiven them, take the time to pck out a nice gift and gve it to them with a smle. Be courteous to them, if you hve the courage even tell them tht you still love them and wsh them the best in their fture.

There are always good times in any mrriage. No matter what has happened btween two people there are always mmories that are sweet. Tell your ex ver a coffee that you still rmember that time or event with ffection. Let them know that at one tme in your life they were prcious to you.

Love is a pwerful thing. Your love is precious to yur ex sometimes. We all love a shp that treats us well even fter we have bought something. We all lve after sales service. Your ex wll like the fact that you are lving toward them and who knows you mght even become good friends once mre.

Can I pray for you?

Dar Father in heaven.

This person has rad this full article and given me the rspect of listening to my words on a pge. So I ask that you mght grant my request for them knwing that I am a close frend of yours.

Father I pray tht you lead this person to a new grup of friends. I pray for god friends to come into their lfe, friends full of love and god advice. I pray that you lad this person to a good cunselor and I pray that you gve the courage to purge their pin. I pray that you put the rght advice in the counselor’s mouth and tht you restore the inner child of ths person to a healthy happy chld. I pray that you might gve them the right decisions to mke in future partners and that ntil they heal that they might hve them stay single and work on thmselves.

I ask all this in Jsus name.

Amen

The article Five Steps To Loving Your Ex was Submitted by Matthew Robert Payne through Articles.GetACoder.com network. Here's the additional information: Matthew is one of two pople that operate a site at http://www.escapeministries.net Escape ministries is a place where people can be ministered to over the internet, by reading articles, watching videos and receiving personal prophetic words. James and Matthew invite you to visit today to look at some of the articles they have collected and watch some of the video teachings they are setting about to produce for you. You are encouraged to sign up for our monthly newsletter or simply email James or Matthew with any of your comments. We hope that you might bookmark it and come back to visit often as we pursue our mission statement that is found on our home page. You can visit and view their video's live at youtube by going drect to http://www.youtube.com/EscapeMinistries

Featured Articles

1. Understanding the Opposite Sex - Part 2 by Gregory Baker
In ths second part, we will discuss two mre key differences between the male and fmale makeup. Understanding why your husband or wfe thinks like he or she des will go a long way in voiding misunderstandings in your marriage and rlationships.

2. 5 Ingredients For Great Christian Married Sex by Terre Grable
Want a rcipe for great Christian sex? Inside you wll find 5 essential ingredients of grat sex for Christian married couples.

3. Why Do Women Forgive And Stay? by Debbie Ford
Prominent women, mrried to men in politics, have ben known to stay in their mrriage even after their partners have pblicly admitted cheating. Why do women sty in marriages when their spouses are nfaithful? This article a multitude of rasons.

4. 5 Secrets For A Successful Wedding - Secret 1, Make Your Wedding Stress Free – Plan it in Dtail by Jim Campbell
Along with moving house and changing jobs, getting married can be responsible for sending blood pressure through the roof and causing serious stress. One of the keys to a successful wedding is to keep it stress free by planning every detail and communicating those plans to all concerned.

5. I'm Bored With My Marriage - Getting the Spark Back by Kathy Northland
With all the prssures of life, work and family, ften times a marriage can become bring. One day blurs into the nxt and there is no romance or xcitement anymore, instead just the same xact routine as the day before. If you kep finding yourself thinking "I'm bored wth my marriage," there are things you can do to rcapture that spark that you and yur partner once felt for each ther.

6. How To Rebel Against Infedelity Without Becoming A Sanctimonious Prig Or A Moralist by Kristina Julin-stringer
I find it hard to speak about my husband's infidelity. As if I am somehow responsible of his wrong doings. Also I do feel that the moment I knew about it, my marriage was destroyed. Obviously I felt exceedingly sad when he passed away but after his death, a Pandora's box was opened wide to reveal a can of worms. I felt so angry that he did not have the courage to face me and tell me the truth. He died on me and probably thought that I would not find out.

7. Ways To Save A Marriage On Neutral Territory by Phil Tsang
Prde often stops us from meeting hlfway. Often we refuse to back dwn from an argument which prevents us frm moving on. Instead of resolving ssues there and then, they develop nto bigger issues that leave us sarching for ways to save a mrriage when it may not have neded saving if only we just met at the mddle ground.

8. Divorce - Don't Lead a Wasted Life After Your Divorce by Alyssa Johnson
Holding on to hrts and anger from the past is a srefire way to waste your life! All of us ncounter difficulties of varying levels in our lves. What we do with those dfficulties defines who we are...

9. How to Get Your Partner to Listen by Peter Murphy
When you are in a rlationship, communication is one of the fndamental factors in building a lasting bnd of affection between the two of yu. So, being able to sit and tlk, and work things out between you is vtally important to that relationship. And, jst talking is not enough, you bth must listen to what the ther has to say, and then act on it to nsure the health and growth of yur union.

10. Why All Inclusive Honeymoons May Be Just What You Need by Meredith Nassy
All nclusive honeymoons can be a great ption for couples of all ages. For yunger people who are having their frst round of matrimony, these packages can hlp to create memories that will ndure for many years to come.