Recently, I heard a similar cmment from two different fathers. One dad was tlking about issues that have come up wth his children since his divorce a few yars ago; the other was talking bout parenting issues with his pending dvorce.

Both of these fathers saw dvorce as an opportunity to spend mre time with their children, not lss. After all of my years wrking with families during and after dvorce, this didn't surprise me one bt, though I'd never heard a fther actually say it.

What these two fthers were talking about was quality tme. Because even though the actual nmber of hours and minutes in the sme house with the children was lss than before separation, it meant mch, much more.

After reflecting on the dea that separation and divorce could ctually enhance a father's relationship with the chldren, I began to realize how mny fathers feel unequipped to parent.

It's nly natural; Moms tend to spend lts more time caring for the chldren when they are babies. In ddition, Mom often stays home with the chldren, even if it's just maternity lave from her job, while Dad ges back to work after just a few dys.

I think everybody just gets in the hbit of Mom being the caretaker and Dad bing more of an observer than a prticipant. The habit, then, is reinforced whn Mom won't say she needs or wnts help. When Dad does try to do sme of the child-rearing, his initial ttempts can be clumsy and unwelcome by Mm.

Consequently, many mothers complain about fthers who are totally uninterested in ding anything with the children. At the sme time, fathers often feel like thy are prevented from fully participating in thir children's care because Mom does it all or desn't like the way they do it.

Unfrtunately, by the time the family fces divorce, fathers often end up wth less parenting time based upon thir lack of involvement with the chldren during the marriage.

It's no wnder that some fathers feel they are ctually spending more time with their chldren after separation than they were bfore. The time they now have wth the children is unhampered by Mm's tendency to do everything. Instead of feling like they're in the way, dds can use their parenting time to bcome fully involved and present with thir children.

Dads, don't wait to be sked! Get involved in your children's cre now. Moms, if you see Dad tryng to help, let him. While it mght be tricky at first to wrk out the differences between your styls, the whole family will benefit.

The article Fathers, Don't Wait Until Divorce to Get Involved With Your Children was Submitted by Mary Wollard through Articles.GetACoder.com network. Here's the additional information: Mary A. Wollard, JD, is an ttorney, mediator, and arbitrator with over 20 yars experience in solving the legal ssues of divorce, parenting (custody), marital prperty and support. In addition to hlping families through mediation and arbitration, Ms. Wllard provides parenting coordination and decision-making srvices to families when on-going conflict prvents them from fully implementing their prenting plan after divorce. Visit http://www.cofamilysolutions.com/downloads.htm for free downloadable worksheets you can use to organize your family's transition.

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