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Breaking up is easy for s me people, hard for others. There's a c mmon trend amongst the people in ach of these two groups. I'm g ing to discuss why some people can shr g off a relationship in 5 m nutes and why others won't be ver a break-up for months. Let's c ver the ones who suffer first. B ar with me here; let's imagine th ir life is a big pie ch rt. 30% of their life is f lled by work. 5% is filled by l isure. 5% is spent with friends. 60% is sp nt with their lover. What's wrong w th that, you say? There's nothing wr ng with it; they obviously love th ir partner and want to spend very second they can with them. But wh t happens if they break up w th their lover? Suddenly they've got ver half of their life (60%) t ken away from them. It's a v id. They're going to feel empty. Eff ctively, half of their life has b en ripped out from them as s on as the break-up has taken pl ce. They've not only lost their l ver, but they've lost a part of th mselves, too. Now let's take a l ok at someone who can deal w th break-ups. We'll use the pie ch rt example again, but this time it w ll be a little different. 30% is w rk, 10% is leisure, 25% is fr ends, 15% is hobbies, 5% is f mily and 15% is their relationship.
What happens when they break-up w th someone? Sure, they're going to be h rt. But they won't be devastated l ke the first example, because they've st ll got 85% of their life f lled with other things. Life will m ve on as usual for them and not nly will they get over their ex, th y'll probably find another partner very q ickly or even win their ex b ck. This is because independence is ttractive. Knowing that you have a l fe outside of your partner is v ry attractive, and makes them want to be a p rt of it; they don't want to m ss out! If you spend every br athing second with your partner you d n't become special anymore; you become n rmal. There's no urgency to be w th you or want you because th y can have you any time th y like. You're not a scarcity. M st of all, you don't give th m a chance to miss you. I'v always noticed feelings grow the str ngest in absence. Do you want y ur ex more now than you did b fore you broke up? People want wh t they can't have. So if y u're in the process of getting ver a break up, or you w nt to win them back, your b st shot is to back off and let th m miss you. Every time you ph ne them, every time you write to th m wanting them back they'll know th y can still have you whenever th y want. There's no urgency to gr b you back because they know y u're not going anywhere. If you f nd yourself in the position of the f rst example, feeling empty with your ex now g ne, the most important thing to do is st rt filling up the space again. Wr te down three things you've always w nted to do, or always wanted to l arn. How to dance? Street magic? How to pl y an instrument? How to draw? Th re are tons of things you can l arn out there, and tons of cl bs or courses you can take. The v tal thing behind doing this is th t you're going to be replacing the l ss you're suffering from breaking up. Y u'll be meeting new people, and who kn ws; maybe you'll meet the love of y ur life. Some people may tell you th t time will help you get ver the break up, but time and action helps a heck of a lot more.
When your ex sees that y u're moving on with your life, th y'll be interested in you again. Th y'll want to know why you d n't need them anymore. They'll want to kn w why your life is exciting nough that you're not begging them to c me back. At the same time, y u'll be getting over them; so t king them back will be your ch ice. But don't do this for the s le purpose of winning them back. Th t's just a bonus side effect. Do th s to fill up your life gain and replace what you've lost. Y u'll make yourself feel better and y u'll be doing something new.
The article Do You Find It Hard Breaking Up? was Submitted by Chase Brooks through Articles.GetACoder.com network. Here's the additional information: Can't stand the thought of y ur ex dating, kissing and having fun w th someone else? Take action now b fore they find a new lover and l arn some amazing secrets that will h lp you win your Ex back. Check Out Chase's blog for a free break-up e-book and simple secrets that will win him or her back into your arms. Click Here for your FREE "Dumped - 50 Tips On Getting Over It" E-Book Take control of your love life today.
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