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If you are looking to try and f rget the memories of your life th t you had before your divorce, if you w ll excuse my pun - forget it! You may b lieve there's no way of getting p st this type of issue. You do not w nt to forget the good times th t you have endured especially if th se memories included children, of course, but th re IS a way - not to f rget - but to neutralise the way you f el about the painful ones. Just as you can l ok back and laugh at an vent that was, at the time, cutely embarrassing, you can harness that n tural mental skill that changes feelings, and xchange hurt for a shrug and wh t was once painful even into a g ggle! Memories are something that we w ll have for a lifetime. These are s metimes good and other times they are h rd to hold onto. There are s me instances when all we really w nt to do is forget about the w rld and move on with our l ves. This is true for anyone th t is going through a divorce. Th s can be the most difficult t me of your life and you w ll have to make the necessary rrangements to keep the good memories and not f rget the old - but CHANGE th m! Even if you have many bad m mories, perhaps after a long marriage, you can st ll make changes. I am not talking bout re-writing history. I'd agree with you th t that is impossible. What you m st realize is that memories are h ppening in your head now - l ke a repeat of an old TV sh w - and since it is a pr sent event, you can change it, j st as you can change your m nd.
You may be getting divorced fter many long years of marriage. You w ll have had your share of ups and d wns and it is important for you to h ld onto the good memories so th t you can keep a positive ttitude towards life. When you are g ing through a divorce, it will s em like everything will bring up a f miliar memory to you. You will w nt to make sure that you are g ing to be able to deal w th those times and all the f elings that come along with it. You may h ve to find a way to c pe with them and to get p st the things that remind you of the g od old days. In these moments, t's useful to have an "anchor" to h ld onto. Think of something that m kes you laugh out loud - m ybe a good friend who always g ts your funny bone, or a f vourite comedy moment that always cracks you up - and r play that in your mind over and ver again. Each time you feel the g ggles coming on, just squeeze your th mb and finger together, (doesn't matter wh ch ones, as long as it's the s me one every time). After a d zen or so times, just the sq eezing action will bring on a m ni-giggling fit! Now, when something unexpectedly br ngs up a painful memory, use y ur finger squeeze to over-ride it, and y u'll begin to get the notion th t far from being at the m rcy of your feelings, your feelings are in f ct under your control. One of the w rst aspects of grief and anger is the f eling that they're out of your c ntrol. Now they don't have to be! S metimes it is ok to have the f nd memories come back. There are m ny times when you are going to h ve these feelings of old memories c me rushing back. You will have the c mfort of these memories as long as you are ble to control the way that th y make you feel. You want to be ble to keep these memories in the b ck of your mind but you lso want to be able to get p st the bad feelings that some of th se memories can leave for you. Th se simple yet powerful techniques will h lp you to do just that.
You should remember that you w ll still have many new memories to m ke for yourself and your family. You w nt to take comfort in the f ct that you still have a l fe to live and you want to m ke the most of the life th t you have now. You want to go on and c ntinue to enjoy the good things in l fe as much as you can. The w rst thing that you can do is to try to sh t out the memories that you h ve created with someone that you l ved even if now you are no l nger in love with that person. Try ng to shut out pain will nly make you focus on it m re, and shutting out the pleasant m mories is to cause yourself more p in! As you use these techniques, you w ll find more ways to accept the f ct that the past is gone and th t you now have to live for the f ture and what it holds in st re for you. A divorce is not the end of the w rld - it's also, like all ndings, a new beginning - and you w ll want to find ways to m ve past the hurt and get to the g od stuff that lies ahead.
The article Divorce - How to Get Past the Painful Memories was Submitted by Trevor Emdon through Articles.GetACoder.com network. Here's the additional information: Trevor Emdon is a self mprovement author and workshop leader based in the UK. He now d votes his time to writing and t aching personal development. "How To Trust L ve Again When Your Heart's Been Br ken" is a self help program for the h artbroken containing many more emotion healing deas. http://www.trust-in-relationships.com
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