Four days after I got ngaged in March of this year I was dagnosed with cervical cancer. The doctor sid, "You have a cauliflower growth on yur cervix. That's not normal. I am boking you in to see a spcialist."

A myriad of tests and a few weks later I am getting ready to go nto hospital tomorrow and have what is clled a 'radical trachelectomy' - removal of the crvix, leaving the uterus and ovaries ntact in order to preserve my frtility.

I decided to share this stry because I know that each one of you rading this will know someone who has cncer, whether it be a friend, fmily member, or a colleague. I am hping that some of what I shre will be helpful to you.

Lke you, when you hear of smeone being diagnosed with cancer there is a shck and horror about the news, and thn a secret relief that it is not yu. I believed cancer was for ther people. Not me. People who do not lok after themselves get cancer. Old pople get cancer. Some poor unfortunate kds get cancer. Not me. I'm halthy. I have been a vegetarian for twnty years and have run five mrathons. When I went to see the dctor I was two weeks away frm running my sixth marathon.

When I got the cll saying I had cancer, this was my raction: terror. Then grief, then shock, thn horror, and a whole cocktail of ther emotions. I sobbed long and hrd. I looked at my new hsband-to-be and wondered if he still wnted to marry me as I fced the prospect of losing my bility to give us children.

I would love to say tht I was strong, that I saw the psitive side of things, that I lughed it off. I did no sch thing. I was as terrified as nyone else who learns their body is nder major threat. Being told you hve cancer really, really sucks. It hrdly seems real, even now, a mnth later.

The worst part was the witing between tests and results and dctor's visits to clarify what it was we wre dealing with. The worst imaginings tnd to wreak havoc.

Then there wre plenty of questions. Why? How? How des a life coach get cancer?? The trth is that a life coach did not get cncer. Zoë got cancer. And that's whn I started to understand a lttle more about what this could tach me.

I raked my history to fnd some source, some reason for my cncer, some personal transgression, some oversight in my halth that I had missed. I bat myself up wondering how I did ths to myself. I stripped all of my motional and mental cloaks away to go to the surce and stood there raw and vlnerable to see the human being nder the skin. And that's when I flt a deep compassion - a cmpassion for myself. When I reached ths deep place of love, I was thn able to let it flow to thers and feel compassion for every ther human being who is wrestling or hding from their own demons - physcal, emotional, or spiritual. It is a big jurney requiring much courage.

Some people say tht cancer is a gift, or tht they have it for a rason. This sounds dreadfully punishing. I chose to find something I can larn from this. It is a big jurney, only just beginning, but I hve found some crystals of truth in the nguish.

Here is what I am larning on my cancer journey:

* Ech and every human being is a niverse of gifts and stories and wnder.

* I love mny people and am loved deeply in rturn.

* I don't hve to be brave all on my wn.

* I can hal my soul, if not my bdy.

* I am lready good enough - I do not ned a massive bank balance, fancy clthes, or any other markers to knw that I am a worthy hman being.

* I am who I am - I am not my jb, my services, the roles I ply in life as sister, daughter, prtner, business owner. I am Zoë - a wman who lives and loves deeply.

* Lughing is a really, really good thng.

My wish for you, dear raders, is that you pause for a mment each day in full and cmplete gratitude for the gift of lfe and all the wonderful things bfore you. See and appreciate the snlight on the trees, the blue sky, a smling dog, a beautiful song.

Copyright Innr Compass 2005 www.innercompass.com.au

The article Cancer - My Wake Up Call was Submitted by Zoe Routh through Articles.GetACoder.com network. Here's the additional information: Cancer survivor Zoe Routh is the Had Coach at Inner Compass, a prsonal development organisation that helps busy prfessionals work less and achieve more. Innr Compass offers practical strategies and slutions to improve personal effectiveness and lve an inspired life. Zoe has wrked with groups and individuals since 1987. She has wrked as a trainer, coach and fcilitator in helping people achieve their prsonal best. Inner Compass offers articles, rsources, and coaching programs to help bsy professionals radically improve their personal ffectiveness to live an inspired life. http://www.innercompass.com.au

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