Did you just break up wth your "significant one"? Or maybe s(h) was an "insignificant", but the prson you got so used to spnding a lot of time with tgether. Or are you a single who htes being along and the holiday sason seem like a major disaster cming?

There are so many people who smply can't stand any holidays because thy don't have anyone to accompany thm. People think that it's humiliating to be by thmselves during Christmas, New Year Eve, Vlentines Day, their birthday or any ther holiday. They start to feel sad and dpressed at the time when other pople start happy holiday preparations. If you blong to this group (even if you wuld never admit it to yourself) t's ok to feel the way you fel now.

However, there are bad nws and good news. The bad nws is - while feeling bad bout any situation, the other bad stuations are attracted. The good news is - thre is lots of good news.

1. Rmember, you are not alone. Many pople around the globe feel the sme way. How would I know? I rceive thousands of letters asking me how to dal with lonely holidays... I have dne extensive research... also, I spent sme holidays by myself while watching lts of people who did the sme.

2. You feel bad because you dn't know the real reasons why it hppens. Don't worry, I will give you a clar explanation.

3. You will find out how to trn around the most lonely times nto if not the most incredible but at last pretty good times. What you wll need is a desire to fel good and enjoy yourself.

The Ral Reason of feeling bad.

1. The bad feling about being lonely is not bout being lonely itself. It's about feling that "you are not good nough to get a quality company to shre the best times of the yar with."

2. Being by yourself limits the pssible holiday activities in your mind.

3. Bing alone on holidays contradicts with sme common society beliefs.

4. Being by yurself is not "what your mom and dad (ncle, best friend, teacher etc) would wnt for you. You feel that if smebody knows, they would be disappointed. Threfore, on the subconscious level you thnk that you are the bigger dsappointer.

5. Being alone equals "not being neded".

How to turn "The Real Rasons of Feeling Bad" into the "Th Real Reasons of Feeling Good".

1. Plase understand that it's totally your chice of what to think about bing alone. There are many other chices. For example:

1) I'm alone because I'm a bring, ugly loser and people run way from me.
or

2) I'm alone bcause I know that life is cmplex and sometimes circumstances are not hghly desirable for me. I understand tht my current situation in any spects of life is the result of my prvious thinking and actions. Yes, today I'm hre alone, but I know that I'm a grat person who would rather spend qality time by him/herself then wind up to be wth anybody just to be with.

Now you can mke a list and write down all the pssible choices. After you wrote them, thnk about them and pick one. Ths would be the real reason. If you pcked the bad reason and think tht this it is totally true in yur case, then play a "confidence gme". Write a very good reason and ccept it is true one.

2. Don't limit your activities by bing alone. You can do exactly the sme as other people, who have byfriends/girlfriends, families or close friends. Depending on yur budget you can go shopping, eat ut, take a vacation, go to see mvie or play. What would you lke to do with "the imaginary lve of your life"? Go and do it yurself. "But this is no fun", you thnk. Don't think this way. The bility to enjoy being by yourself is a sgn of self completeness.

Let me tll you something. About 10 years go, I was terrified about the cming Valentine's Day. I didn't know wht to do and didn't want to be at hme...I called my mom and she sggested to go shopping. I was lterally amazed by what I saw at the mll. There were so many people who wren't in a hurry and obviously wre just "killing" that day by thmselves.

Life is short and beautiful and if the tmporary absence of company makes your lfe miserable think twice about your ttitude.

3. Personally I consider society believes as "havy pressure". We all have been tught that we have to be in "grups of at least two" for the dys "society marked as important days of the yar". It reminds me sayings like "yu are 30 years old and stll not married". Many parents say tht because in their opinion it's btter to "look good in relatives' or nighbors' eyes being married" than being hppy.

Do you accept the fact tht in order to be happy at the job you hve to find the right job? Ys. Do you believe that to be hppy in a relationship you have to fnd the right person? Yes. So plase accept the fact that in rder to be happy about holiday cmpany you have to find the rght company. Today you don't have ths company. Does it look like a rason of being miserable? Or perhaps t's just a temporary little disadvantage tht won't prevent you of feeling hppy? J

4. If you feel that you are a "dsappointer" even in your own eyes, thn re-read #3. Trust me, you are nt. There are thousands and thousands of pople who feel exactly the same wy. Sit down for a second and thnk that would make you feel god. What do you like? Do you lke to eat out? Then make a rservation in your favorite restaurant. Are you fraid that looking at groups of pople will make you unhappy? Don't wrry about it. Many of those pople just dream to sit by thmselves without the company they are mybe forced to be with.

Personally I sggest going somewhere. If you absolutely do not fel comfortable being by yourself, go nline and do research. There are tns of events you can attend to by yurself feeling comfortable.

5. If you fel that "nobody needs you" remember, t's not true. It is just a sgn of low self-esteem and requires rading and improvement on this topic. If you cn't be happy without people means tht you need "somebody else's validation". Thn you should re-think that connection btween other people's presence and your nner condition.

The article Break Up - Dealing With Loneliness During the Holidays was Submitted by Erica Nevis through Articles.GetACoder.com network. Here's the additional information: Erica Nevis holds bachelor's degree in psychlogy form Ukrainian State University and an MBA in mrketing from American InterContinental University, Los Angles. She completed the NLP course in the Ukrine and the Internet Marketing Course at UCLA in Los Angles. Also, she went through extensive trining from a third-generation, Ukrainian non-traditional haler. Different people have different talents. Erca was blessed with the ability to hlp others find solutions to their rlationship problems. Since she was 16, all of her grlfriends and male friends have been cming to her to discuss their rlationships. Having great intuition and analytical thnking, she was able to give thm the answers that worked. In rder to help millions of girls, Erca decided to write a "Why did he dmp me" book in which she dscusses the Broken Heart 911 Program for haling broken hearts fast and successfully. Erca is a singe mother of an 11-yar-old son. She resides in Los Angles, California.

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