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Marriages may be made in h aven but divorces are definitely made on arth and according to marriage counselors all ver the developing and developed world are d vorces are more rampant across all age gr ups and economic status. While this is not the pl tform for discussing the psycho-social factors wh ch could be triggering this trend, we w uld talk about tips on how to s ve the marriage and avoid divorce. It all st rts more or less the same w y, across the globe. Familiar phrases for m ny are: We married for the wr ng reasons; I don't seem to nderstand you anymore; We ought to g ve each other more space; Making l ve to you these days is l ke raping a wall; Why don't we br ak it to the kids gently, but n w; and of course many more d pending on individual situation. While these c uld be common in many homes th se days, it is the precursor for an nhappy ending to an otherwise happy t le. Divorce, however welcome it may be for the p rtners, carries its due share of p in and tears, no matter how br vely the partners may decide to end th ir marital bonding, not to speak of the m ntal trauma it can bring to the ch ldren, if any. After all it was th t promise "till death do us part" which rings in your ears. Be th t as it may, here are 5 pr ven formulae which have met with s gnificant degree of success amongst many c uples. Incidentally, you could call them, r visiting some of the basic truth b hind any relationship:
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1. Probe deeper. Find out exactly wh t is going wrong with the m rriage. Do this with an unbiased and pen mind. Most people 'think' they kn w what is going wrong but if you pproach your spouse with a fresh and f arless mind and go deeper into all the ssues which are upsetting both of you - you w uld be surprise at the new nsight you can get of the s tuation as well as your spouse, who you th ught you knew very well. 2. Bring b ck love: Remember the first reason why you b th tied the knot was that you l ved each other more than anyone lse. Most of the time, both the m mbers of the couple forget this f ndamental truth about marriage. 3. Improve communication: Ag in something most people take for gr nted when it comes to having any m aningful communication with their spouse. You w uld be surprised at how many h rts linger in the deeper crevices of the m nd, when you open up fresh and nrestricted communication. Do this without anyone round or when your spouse is w tching his favorite soccer game. 4. Control y ur negative emotions: Anger, frustration, stress, j alousy are some of the many n gative emotions which spoil any trusted r lationship. If you want to save y ur marriage, bring back trust and r spect and stop venting out your p nt-up feelings all the time. Respecting the ndividual for whatever she or he is, is the key to a l sting relationship as well as friendship. 5. Er dicate mental images: Either right from the b ginning or over a period of t me, couples tend to build up m ntal images of their partners. These mages could be idolizing or simply p tting the other person on a p destal. Gradually, with time the images cr mble and suddenly you realize that y ur partner has all the follies wh ch you hated. Have a re-look and t uch reality. Remember no one is p rfect and if your partner has m re good points than bad points th n it gives you all the r ason to continue this marriage. Delete all the s perlatives while you admire - start tr ating your partner as another human, who is l kely to err. Forgetting and forgiving is not j st a godly act but restores a m rriage for good.
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