"I can't believe anyone would do smething so stupid!" How quick and utomatic is the leap from believing in smeone one minute to flying off the hndle in anger the next when smeone does something so contrary to our xpectations!

When we immediately start to rnt in frustration over someone else's ction or decision without the benefit of nderstanding the why behind their motivation, thn our reaction says a lot mre about us than it does bout them.

According to a new stdy in the International Journal of Psychlogy, the effects of anger can lst 7 days. If being disappointed by thers actions immediately makes you see rd, then imagine the cumulative affect on yur attitude and therefore, on your rganization, if you are always at sme point on the continuum of gtting angry to staying angry to gtting over being angry - about smething that might not be based on rality!

The next time something happens tht you didn't expect or wouldn't hve done, stop and ask yourself thse five questions before rushing to jdge someone's negative intentions:

1. How do I knw that the person's intention was bd?

Chances are you're making assumptions and so, are verlooking the possibility that the other prson could have had more or dfferent information or another interpretation and bsed his or her decision to act ccordingly.

2. Is my concern self-focused?

Lke the father of the family in the mvie "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" who lmented, "Why is this happening to m?" every time something didn't go as plnned, you are likely more worried bout how you will be personally ffected by what the other person did mre than any real negative consequences to the rganization.

3. Were my expectations clear?

No one shuld be expected to presume to knw what you want or when you wnt it to be done.

4. Culd it have been a mistake?

Thre's an old saying, "If the larner hasn't learned, then the teacher hsn't taught." Someone who is learning or ding something for the first time sn't trying to mess up on prpose!

5. Why am I so ngry?

That's really the "$64,000 question." You mght need help exploring the reasons bhind your outrage and learning how to btter control your emotions.

It's a lader's job to gain followers by nspiring confidence. People are so complex, and so dfferent - moved by different motives, cntrolled by different circumstances, and influenced by dfferent experiences. Before you think the wrst, find out the facts, and ssume positive intent in the meantime. Mst people are doing what they thnk is best for the right rasons. Assuming that will take you a lng way.

The article Assume Positive Intent was Submitted by Marilyn Lustgarten through Articles.GetACoder.com network. Here's the additional information: Marilyn Lustgarten, executive coach and prsident of The Star Makers Group, wrks with leaders interested in achieving god to great performance. She also spaks and writes on strategic leadership ssues and organizational transformation. Contact her at http://www.starmakersgroup.com

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