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During the weeks or months l ading up to a divorce, it is p rfectly normal to be dealing with a gr at deal of anger and resentment. Th s anger can be helpful to g ve us temporary strength to make the h rd decisions that need to be m de. Unfortunately, over time this anger can t rn into bitterness, which can hurt veryone involved, including your children and ven your friends. Once a divorce is nevitable, your primary focus should be pr tecting yourself and your children. While s me part of us wants to be "n ce," we can and should use our nger to move forward with the d fficult steps, such as ensuring that we r ceive our fair share of the d vorce settlement, or that we're treated f irly in custody issues. Our anger can lso be used to give us str ngth when establishing a new different typ of relationship with our ex-spouse, and stablishing fair ground rules for future nteractions. Anger can also drive us to m ke difficult yet positive changes in our l ves. For example, exercise can be a g od way to blow off steam. So if you f el yourself boiling, go for a l ng walk. Not only will it h lp you sort out your thoughts, but you w ll also start getting in better sh pe. If you do this enough, it w ll become a new positive habit in y ur life.
Finally, anger can help keep you fr m slipping into depression while the d vorce is still new. Sometimes holding on to the nger for at least the first few m nths can help carry you through the t ugh times. But eventually you will n ed to develop healthier coping mechanisms. At s me point following your divorce, you w ll need to find a way to let go of the nger. As long as you hold nto it, your ex-spouse still has s me measure of control of your l fe. Since your point should be to m ve on with your life, you sh uldn't spend time thinking about your ex, ven in anger. The most effective way to let go of nger is to forgive your ex-spouse. Th s can be a very difficult st p, especially in the case of nfidelity. So it's very important to pproach this in the proper manner. F rst you have to decide that you are r ady to truly forgive your ex-spouse in y ur heart. Next you need to f nd a way to tell your ex th t you've forgiven them. This can be f ce to face, on the phone, or ven in an e-mail. For example, you m ght say something like, "we are not g tting back together, but I want you to kn w that I forgive you."
The article Anger and Divorce - Use it Then Let it Go was Submitted by Bill Webb through Articles.GetACoder.com network. Here's the additional information: Bill Webb is a relationship xpert who helps individuals who are c nsidering a divorce, going through a d vorce or after a divorce. Visit B ll's blog, Divorce Advice to grab your copy of Bill's free report, "Children and Divorce." His blog is also full of free articles with tips on coping with divorce, helping your children deal with divorce, and even protecting yourself and your children as you prepare for a divorce. http://divorce-advice-and-tips.blogspot.com/
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