I'm a psychologist, not a prfessional comedy writer (After all, how fnny is this first sentence?). But whn, about 20 years ago, I tok up to an hour each day (nd I mean, for 365 days) jst to write jokes, gags, and ne-liners for cartoonists, comedians, and speakers, I thught I was clever enough to mke it a life-long habit.

It was fn, I learned a lot, and I ven sold a few jokes. However, by the end of the yar my ability to keep cranking thm out disappeared and I burnt ut.

The experience taught me 3 thngs: First, I'm not cut out to be a fll-time comedy writer. Second, I developed a strng appreciation of the professional comedy wrters who can do this day fter day, year after year. And thrd, I did learn how to put tgether a one-liner. I have used ths knowledge ever since in speeches, metings, other writing projects, and social cnversation.

I have come to the cnclusion that it ain't rocket science. If I can do it, you can do it (prvided that you have a good snse of humor, a facility for wrd-play, and nothing better to do).

Bfore I give you my magic frmula, I should tell you that frmulas don't work. A great one-liner, lke any work of art, has its own nique inspiration, follows its own unique rles, and surprises us in its own wnderful way. Also, the jokes I wll use as examples are original (nt particularly funny, but certainly original). Tht's because I don't want to get sed, especially by some comedian who clims I was stealing his or her jkes.

So here are 5 rules for crating a one-liner:

RULE 1: Choose 2 topics-1) the content of the joke, and 2) the surprise topic. For example, let's say you've been putting in a lot of overtime at the office. Now, just for the sake of making this a good mental exercise, let's also say that you combine this topic with the fact that you have a dog. Here is one possibility of combining them: "I've been putting in so much overtime, that I came home to an empty house last night. I found a note. It said, 'I can't take it any more. I've gone for a long walk in the park to think over our relationship.' It was from my dog."

Ok, so it's not that funny. That brings us t...

RULE 2: Look for opposites, especially ridiculous and impossible opposites. Many, many great jokes rely on opposite meanings. A few years ago at a Rotary meeting in which I ended the year of my presidency, I wanted to say a few things before turning the club over to my successor. I began by saying, "Before I formally hand over the reins of powerlessness, ..." It got a nice laugh.

RULE 3: Build up the joke in a certain direction, so that the listener is locked into one assumption, and then spring the joke on them. For example, talk as if it is something important, and end with something trivial: "I should like to introduce my business partner, my mentor, my best friend, and a man to whom I owe five bucks, ..."

RULE 4: Put the key word or phrase, the one that changes the meaning, at the very end of the one-liner. You'll notice that the very last words in the previous three jokes ARE the joke (dog, powerlessness, five bucks). Imagine a cocktail party. Everyone has a drink in his or her hands, except for one guy. His wife turns to him and says, "You know, George, you really SHOULD have something to drink--otherwise people will think you're an alcoholic." This is a lot funnier than, "You don't want people to think you're an alcoholic, do you? You'd better drink something." This second line isn't as funny because the second topic (alcoholism) is introduced before the end. It blunts the surprise and therefore the comic shock at the end.

RULE 5: Get rid of very unnecessary word and idea. Nothing rins a one-liner more than even one xtra word. My wife, Christine, is a Pramedic with the Chicago Fire Department (Sh was my hero long before Sptember 11th). She works a 24-hour shft. Over the years I've developed a stck response to people who ask me if I'm wrried about my wife being in the frehouse all night with all of thse men: "Gee, you're right. I'd btter call and warn those guys." Is thre one unnecessary word in that rsponse? I don't think so.

So thre it is. Follow these rules, and you can crate a one-liner. Will it rise to the lvel of a Henny Youngman, a Jay Lno, an Ellen DeGeneres, a Bob Hpe, a Richard Pryor, or a Gorge Carlin? Probably not, but it's fn, it's creative, it's a good mntal exercise, and--who knows?--you may discover tht you have a talent for it.

Oh, and one wrd of caution. If while you are fllowing these rules you think of smething truly funny, forget the rules. Go for wht's funny.

The article 5 Rules For How To Write A Classic One-Liner Joke was Submitted by Sandy Marcus through Articles.GetACoder.com network. Here's the additional information: Sander Marcus, Ph.D., is a Lcensed Clinical Psychologist and Certified Professional Rsume Writer in Chicago. He has ver 3 decades of experience in prviding career counseling, aptitude testing, job sarch coaching, and resume writing to tns of thousands of individuals. He is the c-author of 2 books on academic nder achievement, various tests, and numerous rticles. He can be contacted at marcus@iit.edu , 312-567-3358. www.center.iit.edu

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